Do you have and carry the communication skills in you? How effective are you in your dialogue and do you gather enough attention of the listeners or audience when you speak? These are the questions that need to be answered if you want yourself to be appreciated and heard among the crowd.
Communication skills affect your interpersonal and social relationship with others and the response you get from them. Communication skills let you gather attention of the listeners when you talk.
Here are 6 skills that can make you impressive when you speak and can groom your personality:
1. Try to sound more polite
Always bear in mind to greet the listeners or audience before making an oral presentation or starting a conversation. Tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and at the end, summarize what you have told them.
2. Be more articulate
People would judge your competency through the vocabulary you use. So make sure to exert extra effort to pronounce the last sound in a word and use its energy to carry over the following word. But then if you are not sure how to say a certain word, then do not use it at all, which can only pull down your communication skill instead of boosting it up.
3. Try sounding more intelligent
Pause deliberately at some key points—this adds to the effect of highlighting the significance of a particular point you are making. Try to speak just a bit slow to allow yourself to choose your most appropriate vocabulary and to give the impression of being thoughtful.
4. Be more confident
Hold your head as if you wear a crown on it. Carry your whole body up and do not let your legs and arms have a side-to-side motion when you move. Always keep your knees and elbows close to the midline of your body. On the whole, your body movements express what your thoughts and attitudes really are and controlling them adds to your communication skill.
5. Try to sound more polished
Don’t just answer a question with a blunt “no” or “yes”. Add or attach a short phrase of clarification. For instance, “Yes, I know Madam.” “No, I do not see it.”
6. Sound more touchy
Most individuals are best at absorbing information they receive through their eyes, while others need hands on experience to set the message in their heads most effectively. So try to assess and judge how your listeners or audience are more comfy taking information from you and make sure you feed them in the same way as they like.
7. Be more powerful-sounding
Do not ever shout or whisper—but speak clearly. Use short and simple declarative sentences. Convey to your listeners that you mean what you say and say what you mean. Do away with useless adjectives, adverbs and connectors, especially superlatives.
Communication skills, as with most personal skills cannot be taught. One could only point the way. So as always, practice is the key and truly essential to enhance those skills generally and give it your best shot every time you speak.
Amy Twain
Friday, July 10, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Covert Persuasion: 3 Powerful Covert Persuasion Techniques That Produce Astonishing Results
In this modern world, covert persuasion techniques are your weapons. They help you gain advantage in the playing field and keep you ahead of the game. Whether you’re a sales person, a mother, a teenager or just a simple guy trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket, covert persuasion techniques are your best friends.
These subliminal methods of persuasion come in different forms and are useful in different situations. Check out some of them below and see which one you think best suits you
# 1: Association With Good Or Positive Things
Larry, 28, is an advertising manager for a large appliance company. Part of his job is to meet with clients left and right. However, Larry doesn’t always meet his clients in the office. In fact, he often meets with them in reputable restaurants. They eat, discuss the deal and at the end of the meeting, he foots the bill.
No matter how expensive the meal is, Larry will pay for all of it (with the company’s money, of course). It might not seem like an example of a covert persuasion technique but that’s only to those who are not familiar with this business. What Larry used was actually the law of association.
He wanted his clients to feel good about this meeting. That explains the good restaurant, the good food and the footing of the bill. His clients will then associate their good experience with Larry and the company he works for.
Using the law of association is a very powerful subliminal method of persuasion. You, too, can harness the law of association to your own advantage. Always associate yourself with good things and others will see you in that light as well.
# 2: Being A Friend
The law of friends has been around for centuries. It states that people would usually help those they perceive as their friends. This law can be quite useful even when you’re already working. Some of the best business opportunities are even provided by friends!
For example, if you’re a dentist and want to increase your patients, I suggest letting your friends know about it first. Even friends who haven’t seen since high school will be more than glad to help you out. That is because your friends trust you and in what you can do. Covert Persuasion
# 3: Disassociation From Negative Things
The Law of disassociation is the complete opposite of the law of association. If you can’t afford to be seen in a bad light, then this is a subliminal persuasion tactic that might help you a lot.
I remember one incident where the law of disassociation came quite in handy. It was a friend’s experience; not mine. In his own words, here’s what he told me:
“Back when I was still in college, I had to face one of the most grueling challenges in every relationship: meeting the parents. Things were going well at first until after dinner when we stayed in the living room to watch television. The local news channel was reporting a fraternity fight that broke out between two schools. One of them was my old alma matter. There couldn’t be a worse time for that bit of news to come out. The father knew where I studied in high school, of course, having already grilled me hours before. ‘Does your school often get into these fights?’ the father asked. ‘They don’t really get into fights often. That one seems like a solitary case.’
I said.” Notice that my friend used the words “they” and “that.” By disassociating himself from the school, he also got rid of the father’s notion of him being a hooligan. Using covert persuasion techniques to your advantage does not make you a selfish person. It only means that you have a better understanding of human nature.
Michael Lee
These subliminal methods of persuasion come in different forms and are useful in different situations. Check out some of them below and see which one you think best suits you
# 1: Association With Good Or Positive Things
Larry, 28, is an advertising manager for a large appliance company. Part of his job is to meet with clients left and right. However, Larry doesn’t always meet his clients in the office. In fact, he often meets with them in reputable restaurants. They eat, discuss the deal and at the end of the meeting, he foots the bill.
No matter how expensive the meal is, Larry will pay for all of it (with the company’s money, of course). It might not seem like an example of a covert persuasion technique but that’s only to those who are not familiar with this business. What Larry used was actually the law of association.
He wanted his clients to feel good about this meeting. That explains the good restaurant, the good food and the footing of the bill. His clients will then associate their good experience with Larry and the company he works for.
Using the law of association is a very powerful subliminal method of persuasion. You, too, can harness the law of association to your own advantage. Always associate yourself with good things and others will see you in that light as well.
# 2: Being A Friend
The law of friends has been around for centuries. It states that people would usually help those they perceive as their friends. This law can be quite useful even when you’re already working. Some of the best business opportunities are even provided by friends!
For example, if you’re a dentist and want to increase your patients, I suggest letting your friends know about it first. Even friends who haven’t seen since high school will be more than glad to help you out. That is because your friends trust you and in what you can do. Covert Persuasion
# 3: Disassociation From Negative Things
The Law of disassociation is the complete opposite of the law of association. If you can’t afford to be seen in a bad light, then this is a subliminal persuasion tactic that might help you a lot.
I remember one incident where the law of disassociation came quite in handy. It was a friend’s experience; not mine. In his own words, here’s what he told me:
“Back when I was still in college, I had to face one of the most grueling challenges in every relationship: meeting the parents. Things were going well at first until after dinner when we stayed in the living room to watch television. The local news channel was reporting a fraternity fight that broke out between two schools. One of them was my old alma matter. There couldn’t be a worse time for that bit of news to come out. The father knew where I studied in high school, of course, having already grilled me hours before. ‘Does your school often get into these fights?’ the father asked. ‘They don’t really get into fights often. That one seems like a solitary case.’
I said.” Notice that my friend used the words “they” and “that.” By disassociating himself from the school, he also got rid of the father’s notion of him being a hooligan. Using covert persuasion techniques to your advantage does not make you a selfish person. It only means that you have a better understanding of human nature.
Michael Lee
Friday, June 26, 2009
An Amazingly Simple Formula on How to Attain Financial Freedom So That You Never Have to Worry About Money Again!
After several years of research, reading all types of money making books, investing in all types of business opportunities, my wife and I have finally realized a simple way that’s helped many people become financially free. I won’t pretend that I have the magic formula that will: make you $100,000 in 3 minutes while you sit on the couch, or allow you to retire next week without ever leaving the house!
Now, I’m not saying that the folks who sell those programs are lying because I haven’t done them all, but years ago, I tried a couple of them and let’s just say the only thing that happened while I sat on the couch was I made an imprint!
Let’s face it: If you truly want to get rich & achieve financial independence, it’s going to take some work! However, if I told you that you could become rich and increase your net worth (regardless of how much money you currently make) by using a tried and true formula that consists of 3 simple steps, would you believe me? Well you should, because it works!
How do I know? Because We Have Used This Formula to Increase Our Net Worth Over 300% over the past 7 years! It could happen sooner or it might take a little longer for you depending on your situation. But, what I can guarantee is that if you follow these three simple steps, YOU WILL ACHIEVE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!
I’ve spent many years (AND DOLLARS) looking for ways to become rich and financially free. I can honestly tell you that of the many things I’ve tried, some worked and some didn’t. Instead of getting upset about the things that didn’t work, my wife and I had a conversation and we simply asked ourselves, “Of all the things we’ve tried that did work, what did they have in common?”
And that is how we were able to come up with the simple 3 step formula that we’ve been following for the past several years that has allowed us to walk the path towards wealth and financial independence. Before I share the formula with you, let me just answer one question so that you can decide if I’m someone you want to listen to or not:
QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FINANCIAL FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE, OR BEING RICH?
I think if you were to ask ten different people this question, you’d get ten different answers. So, what I consider being rich might be totally different than what you consider being rich. However, financial freedom for me was the point where my wife and I did not have to have jobs in order to sustain our quality of life. I’m not saying that having a job is a bad thing. But the key is working somewhere because you want to, not because you have to! And being financially independent will make it much easier for you to decide if you want to have a job or not.
SO WHAT IS THIS FORMULA? As I mentioned earlier, it is 3 simple actions. The greatest thing about the formula is that you don’t have to do the steps in any particular order. You can do them one at a time or work on all three simultaneously:
Step 1: Debt Reduction
In order to get rich, you have to reduce the amount of debt that you owe others. It is important to know that not all debt is bad. Good debt is that debt which helps you to become richer. As one famous author puts it, “Good debt is that which someone else pays for you”. Your goal should be to get rid of bad debt first and then work to eliminate good debt.
Step 2: Expense Management
In order to get rich, you must manage expenses. You need to identify where you are spending your money and then determine what is absolutely necessary and where you can trim. This doesn’t mean you have to change your way of life, but instead take better control by being prepared. Your goal should be to prepare for new expenses in advance while minimizing the risks of being caught off guard.
Step 3: Multiple Income Streams
In order to get rich, you must have more than one source of revenue. So often I hear people say, I could be rich if I just got a higher paying job. Believe me, there are financially free people who make less than $40,000 annually, and there are people making over $100,000 annually who are broke. It’s not about making more money from one source of revenue; it’s about making money from more sources. Think about it: if you make $50,000 from one income stream (e.g. job) and you lose that job, you are temporarily doomed. But if you make $5,000 from ten income streams (e.g. businesses, stocks, real estate, etc.) and you lose one (maybe the stocks tank), you still have $45,000 coming in. There are tons of books, seminars and courses you can take on building streams of income. Your goal should be to always have 4 or more income streams going.
So there you have it. An amazingly simple three step formula on how to attain financial freedom so that you never have to worry about money again!
Brandon Wilkins
Now, I’m not saying that the folks who sell those programs are lying because I haven’t done them all, but years ago, I tried a couple of them and let’s just say the only thing that happened while I sat on the couch was I made an imprint!
Let’s face it: If you truly want to get rich & achieve financial independence, it’s going to take some work! However, if I told you that you could become rich and increase your net worth (regardless of how much money you currently make) by using a tried and true formula that consists of 3 simple steps, would you believe me? Well you should, because it works!
How do I know? Because We Have Used This Formula to Increase Our Net Worth Over 300% over the past 7 years! It could happen sooner or it might take a little longer for you depending on your situation. But, what I can guarantee is that if you follow these three simple steps, YOU WILL ACHIEVE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!
I’ve spent many years (AND DOLLARS) looking for ways to become rich and financially free. I can honestly tell you that of the many things I’ve tried, some worked and some didn’t. Instead of getting upset about the things that didn’t work, my wife and I had a conversation and we simply asked ourselves, “Of all the things we’ve tried that did work, what did they have in common?”
And that is how we were able to come up with the simple 3 step formula that we’ve been following for the past several years that has allowed us to walk the path towards wealth and financial independence. Before I share the formula with you, let me just answer one question so that you can decide if I’m someone you want to listen to or not:
QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FINANCIAL FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE, OR BEING RICH?
I think if you were to ask ten different people this question, you’d get ten different answers. So, what I consider being rich might be totally different than what you consider being rich. However, financial freedom for me was the point where my wife and I did not have to have jobs in order to sustain our quality of life. I’m not saying that having a job is a bad thing. But the key is working somewhere because you want to, not because you have to! And being financially independent will make it much easier for you to decide if you want to have a job or not.
SO WHAT IS THIS FORMULA? As I mentioned earlier, it is 3 simple actions. The greatest thing about the formula is that you don’t have to do the steps in any particular order. You can do them one at a time or work on all three simultaneously:
Step 1: Debt Reduction
In order to get rich, you have to reduce the amount of debt that you owe others. It is important to know that not all debt is bad. Good debt is that debt which helps you to become richer. As one famous author puts it, “Good debt is that which someone else pays for you”. Your goal should be to get rid of bad debt first and then work to eliminate good debt.
Step 2: Expense Management
In order to get rich, you must manage expenses. You need to identify where you are spending your money and then determine what is absolutely necessary and where you can trim. This doesn’t mean you have to change your way of life, but instead take better control by being prepared. Your goal should be to prepare for new expenses in advance while minimizing the risks of being caught off guard.
Step 3: Multiple Income Streams
In order to get rich, you must have more than one source of revenue. So often I hear people say, I could be rich if I just got a higher paying job. Believe me, there are financially free people who make less than $40,000 annually, and there are people making over $100,000 annually who are broke. It’s not about making more money from one source of revenue; it’s about making money from more sources. Think about it: if you make $50,000 from one income stream (e.g. job) and you lose that job, you are temporarily doomed. But if you make $5,000 from ten income streams (e.g. businesses, stocks, real estate, etc.) and you lose one (maybe the stocks tank), you still have $45,000 coming in. There are tons of books, seminars and courses you can take on building streams of income. Your goal should be to always have 4 or more income streams going.
So there you have it. An amazingly simple three step formula on how to attain financial freedom so that you never have to worry about money again!
Brandon Wilkins
Friday, June 19, 2009
Lessons From Anakin Skywalker: Making Better Choices Through Recognizing And Managing Our Fears
In the latest and final Star Wars saga, Anakin Skywalker makes the choice to surrender to the dark side of the force. Thus makes his transformation complete into the evil Darth Vader. This choice is motivated by Anakin's fearful premonition that his pregnant wife Padme will die in childbirth. We watch as the tormented Anakin succumbs to the influence of Chancellor Palpatine who suggests that it might be possible to save Padme using the dark side of the force.
Anakin's choice to compromise all his other principles, Jedi values, in order to save his wife is both tragic and understandably human. How many of us have made wrong life or business choices out of the fear of losing something whether its pride, money, relationships, being popular, or missing out on some exciting experience? We then experience a negative consequence because we compromised what we knew was right. Perhaps it could be our values, in favor of a misperceived fear that clouds our better judgment.
In Anakin's case his fear of losing Padme becomes a self- fulfilling prophecy. He is driven and consumed by his fear and all his subsequent destructive actions are rooted in fear. In the process of surrendering to his fears and eventually to the dark side of the force, Anakin loses his compassion, his trust, and his heartfelt connection to others.
Anakin's dilemma can be seen in the context of business. In times of economic uncertainty, leaders may resort to reactionary decisions such as cutting costs or reducing headcount. What appears to provide immediate relief actually fails to produce the desired outcome. Morale, productivity and company culture are adversely affected. Business leaders whose decisions are motivated from apprehension or distress about the future give power to their fears. And like Anakin, those fears can turn into self-fulfilling prophecies that cause harm.
In contrast to decisions motivated by fear are decisions which take us towards a positive vision. If a choice is made from belief in vision, company culture, adherence to core values and trust in the future, the driving motivation can be fulfillment or satisfaction. Operating by the above principles may not always be easy and can be very challenging during times of uncertainty. However, decisions made from these principles will always prove to be more fulfilling as integrity and authenticity are preserved.
How can you tell the difference in what motivates your choices? If that decision causes worry, anxiety and being attached to a future event, you can bet there is fear involved. If you are calm, trusting, energized and focused on things working out, that choice is most likely coming from positive belief.
Even with the best of intentions, fear is something that can creep in on all of us. However, we can manage our fears, if we step back and really look at what's driving us. Don't let fear sabotage your decision making as in Anakin's case. Determine what your core values, purpose and mission are. Clarify your own Jedi values and then ask yourself the following questions:
Will this decision move me closer or farther away from my core values?
Is this decision based on a reactive solution that may violate my core values or company culture?
What are other possibilities for my business or life that I haven't considered or addressed?
How can I communicate and elicit support from the people I trust for the challenges I am facing?
How can I learn to exercise patience and mindfulness as I face my challenges?
It is interesting to see what would have happened if Anakin Skywalker had asked himself these questions before he turned to the dark side of the force. But then again, we might not have had all those great movies to enjoy. "May The Force Be With You!"
Philip Okrend
Anakin's choice to compromise all his other principles, Jedi values, in order to save his wife is both tragic and understandably human. How many of us have made wrong life or business choices out of the fear of losing something whether its pride, money, relationships, being popular, or missing out on some exciting experience? We then experience a negative consequence because we compromised what we knew was right. Perhaps it could be our values, in favor of a misperceived fear that clouds our better judgment.
In Anakin's case his fear of losing Padme becomes a self- fulfilling prophecy. He is driven and consumed by his fear and all his subsequent destructive actions are rooted in fear. In the process of surrendering to his fears and eventually to the dark side of the force, Anakin loses his compassion, his trust, and his heartfelt connection to others.
Anakin's dilemma can be seen in the context of business. In times of economic uncertainty, leaders may resort to reactionary decisions such as cutting costs or reducing headcount. What appears to provide immediate relief actually fails to produce the desired outcome. Morale, productivity and company culture are adversely affected. Business leaders whose decisions are motivated from apprehension or distress about the future give power to their fears. And like Anakin, those fears can turn into self-fulfilling prophecies that cause harm.
In contrast to decisions motivated by fear are decisions which take us towards a positive vision. If a choice is made from belief in vision, company culture, adherence to core values and trust in the future, the driving motivation can be fulfillment or satisfaction. Operating by the above principles may not always be easy and can be very challenging during times of uncertainty. However, decisions made from these principles will always prove to be more fulfilling as integrity and authenticity are preserved.
How can you tell the difference in what motivates your choices? If that decision causes worry, anxiety and being attached to a future event, you can bet there is fear involved. If you are calm, trusting, energized and focused on things working out, that choice is most likely coming from positive belief.
Even with the best of intentions, fear is something that can creep in on all of us. However, we can manage our fears, if we step back and really look at what's driving us. Don't let fear sabotage your decision making as in Anakin's case. Determine what your core values, purpose and mission are. Clarify your own Jedi values and then ask yourself the following questions:
Will this decision move me closer or farther away from my core values?
Is this decision based on a reactive solution that may violate my core values or company culture?
What are other possibilities for my business or life that I haven't considered or addressed?
How can I communicate and elicit support from the people I trust for the challenges I am facing?
How can I learn to exercise patience and mindfulness as I face my challenges?
It is interesting to see what would have happened if Anakin Skywalker had asked himself these questions before he turned to the dark side of the force. But then again, we might not have had all those great movies to enjoy. "May The Force Be With You!"
Philip Okrend
Friday, June 12, 2009
How To Master The Art And Science Of Super Salesmanship in 3½ Minutes Flat
I am not a born salesman. If you know my story, I didn't even have a word of the English language on my lips when I first moved to North America. (Even now, my spoken English is not all that great and it comes with an accent that would put Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jackie Chan to shame.)
No, I wasn't born to sell. I had to learn selling... the HARD way: making embarrassing mistakes, blowing deals right and left, losing clients... and going to outrageous extremes trying to identify the world-class salesmen who would teach me the way to do things right. Well, it's taken a few years... quite a few years, I'll admit, but now I've identified the "tricks of the trade" of selling.
What Took Me Years Will Be Yours In 3 ½ Minutes Flat!
Tricks of the Trade #1 - People don't like to be sold
That's right! Although every year, trillions of dollars worth of goods and services are bought and sold -- billions through the mail alone -- people actually don't like the IDEA of being sold. What they DO like is the idea of OWNING the product, or taking advantage of the service that is being sold.
Look at the people in your own life -- friends, family, or business colleagues. Many of them, no doubt, love to buy things. (My girlfriend has a "black belt" in shopping) But I'll bet that none of them like to be sold. In fact, with most people, if you try to sell them something, they'll become resistant. It's a natural response to perceived pressure.
In fact, selling may turn-off a prospect who was ready to buy. So if you can't SELL, what you can do is TELL. In order to tell you about my product or service:
I get your attention...
I build rapport with you...
I explain what's in it for you...
I tempt you by appealing to your emotions...
I create a verbal picture that teases your desires...
I demonstrate how my stuff can easily solve your problems...
I can prove to you that there're a lot people just like you who have bought and are very happy with my stuff...
I make you an absolutely irresistible offer...
I describe a deal where you risk nothing, and yet stand to gain a great deal...
I handle every single one of your objections...
This is exactly what you've gotta do when you're writing a sales letter. Don't apply pressure and don't bully your prospect with force. Use a little finesse instead. Don't force it -- romance the hell out of it. If you TELL you, I don't have to SELL you... you'll sell yourself! (And that's killer salesmanship, my friend!)
Tricks of the Trade #2 - Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
With each sales pitch you create, you must focus on the need or desire that your product will satisfy. If we only buy what we NEED, there'll be No Rolex, No BMW, No Mercedes, No Botox, and definitely NO Starbucks coffee. We certainly don't NEED any of that stuff, but we WANT them!
Here's what most people are looking for in one way or another:
More money
More free time
More respect
Better physical health
Better mental health
Less stress
Remember, people buy what they WANT, not what they NEED.
Tricks of the Trade #3 - Even When They're Sold, People Need To Satisfy Their Emotional Decisions With Logic
Even though people buy for emotional reasons, they need to feel that their decision was backed by solid logical reasons. Think about TV commercials for cars. They offer a perfect picture of "justification."
Here's how they work:
First, there's a stirring image of the car itself - beautiful, stylish, new. (In your head: Wow! That car looks cool...)
In the background, there's a mountainous landscape (In your head: Wow! That's rugged... like me!) or a five-star hotel (In your head: Wow! That car would give me status."
And, of course, no car commercial would be complete without a beautiful, sexy woman. (In your head: ...let's not go there!)
Next, you see an interior shot to show how luxurious your life will be with this car. You get to listen to state-of-the-art sound system. (In your head: Hmm... I can listen to my favorite music.)
Then, there's a shot of the car driving by the ocean. Put it all together and you have an effective 20-second movie that's designed entirely to appeal to emotion.
But wait, the car commercials don't stop here.
Oh...no way. At the end, they "get down to business" with numerous bits and pieces of information - the size of the engine, statistics on fuel economy, speed, weight, interior space, rankings in national survey, financing information and customer satisfaction reports, and so on.
It flashes by at lightening speed, usually so quickly that you can't read it.
But Don't Worry: All This Data Isn't Meant To Sell The Car. It's included to make YOU feel good and justify the decision you've already made. (I'm gonna buy that baby now or when I got some money because it's the SMART thing to do!)
The lesson: People CAN be convinced, when the facts are explained, when the risk is taken away, and when their deepest, most selfish desires have been tickled and nurtured and seduced.
All right, time's up! Whew... right on time. 3-½ minutes. (Hey, I don't just always "hype" the headline to get you to read my stuff, do I?)
Dan Lok
No, I wasn't born to sell. I had to learn selling... the HARD way: making embarrassing mistakes, blowing deals right and left, losing clients... and going to outrageous extremes trying to identify the world-class salesmen who would teach me the way to do things right. Well, it's taken a few years... quite a few years, I'll admit, but now I've identified the "tricks of the trade" of selling.
What Took Me Years Will Be Yours In 3 ½ Minutes Flat!
Tricks of the Trade #1 - People don't like to be sold
That's right! Although every year, trillions of dollars worth of goods and services are bought and sold -- billions through the mail alone -- people actually don't like the IDEA of being sold. What they DO like is the idea of OWNING the product, or taking advantage of the service that is being sold.
Look at the people in your own life -- friends, family, or business colleagues. Many of them, no doubt, love to buy things. (My girlfriend has a "black belt" in shopping) But I'll bet that none of them like to be sold. In fact, with most people, if you try to sell them something, they'll become resistant. It's a natural response to perceived pressure.
In fact, selling may turn-off a prospect who was ready to buy. So if you can't SELL, what you can do is TELL. In order to tell you about my product or service:
I get your attention...
I build rapport with you...
I explain what's in it for you...
I tempt you by appealing to your emotions...
I create a verbal picture that teases your desires...
I demonstrate how my stuff can easily solve your problems...
I can prove to you that there're a lot people just like you who have bought and are very happy with my stuff...
I make you an absolutely irresistible offer...
I describe a deal where you risk nothing, and yet stand to gain a great deal...
I handle every single one of your objections...
This is exactly what you've gotta do when you're writing a sales letter. Don't apply pressure and don't bully your prospect with force. Use a little finesse instead. Don't force it -- romance the hell out of it. If you TELL you, I don't have to SELL you... you'll sell yourself! (And that's killer salesmanship, my friend!)
Tricks of the Trade #2 - Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
With each sales pitch you create, you must focus on the need or desire that your product will satisfy. If we only buy what we NEED, there'll be No Rolex, No BMW, No Mercedes, No Botox, and definitely NO Starbucks coffee. We certainly don't NEED any of that stuff, but we WANT them!
Here's what most people are looking for in one way or another:
More money
More free time
More respect
Better physical health
Better mental health
Less stress
Remember, people buy what they WANT, not what they NEED.
Tricks of the Trade #3 - Even When They're Sold, People Need To Satisfy Their Emotional Decisions With Logic
Even though people buy for emotional reasons, they need to feel that their decision was backed by solid logical reasons. Think about TV commercials for cars. They offer a perfect picture of "justification."
Here's how they work:
First, there's a stirring image of the car itself - beautiful, stylish, new. (In your head: Wow! That car looks cool...)
In the background, there's a mountainous landscape (In your head: Wow! That's rugged... like me!) or a five-star hotel (In your head: Wow! That car would give me status."
And, of course, no car commercial would be complete without a beautiful, sexy woman. (In your head: ...let's not go there!)
Next, you see an interior shot to show how luxurious your life will be with this car. You get to listen to state-of-the-art sound system. (In your head: Hmm... I can listen to my favorite music.)
Then, there's a shot of the car driving by the ocean. Put it all together and you have an effective 20-second movie that's designed entirely to appeal to emotion.
But wait, the car commercials don't stop here.
Oh...no way. At the end, they "get down to business" with numerous bits and pieces of information - the size of the engine, statistics on fuel economy, speed, weight, interior space, rankings in national survey, financing information and customer satisfaction reports, and so on.
It flashes by at lightening speed, usually so quickly that you can't read it.
But Don't Worry: All This Data Isn't Meant To Sell The Car. It's included to make YOU feel good and justify the decision you've already made. (I'm gonna buy that baby now or when I got some money because it's the SMART thing to do!)
The lesson: People CAN be convinced, when the facts are explained, when the risk is taken away, and when their deepest, most selfish desires have been tickled and nurtured and seduced.
All right, time's up! Whew... right on time. 3-½ minutes. (Hey, I don't just always "hype" the headline to get you to read my stuff, do I?)
Dan Lok
Friday, June 5, 2009
How to Change Somebody's Mind
Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all.
But while researching my book on how to produce more memorable writing, I stumbled upon these "mind changing" ideas from multiple sources.
Remember, I'm a writer, not a psychologist. So the methods shown here come mostly from writers and speakers who've successfully altered perceptions through presentations and persuasive reports.
1. Wear the other person's shoes - Ask questions to find out why someone holds a completely different view from yours.
2. Ask that person to amplify his/her position - Are your opponent's views based on actual data, or on disputed or second-hand information that might be challenged?
3. If that person's views are based on data, is the source of that data credible?
4. What common positions do you hold? Politicians can often win a hostile audience by first discussing values everyone shares. If we can agree on common goals, perhaps readers/listeners will follow us when we lead them down new pathways.
5. Can some position be compromised? In negotiations, I often give away a small point in order to show willingness to arrive at an agreement.
6. Point out your side's best points. Remember the fence-painting episode from "Tom Sawyer"? Tom makes his task seem so appealing his friends offer him all sorts of prizes if he'll let them participate.
7. Speaking of "good points" - Sometimes negotiation can become a "listing" contest. Can you reinforce your position by listing a number of positive things about your proposal? Example: "Ten reasons you should vote for Proposition A."
Rix Quinn
But while researching my book on how to produce more memorable writing, I stumbled upon these "mind changing" ideas from multiple sources.
Remember, I'm a writer, not a psychologist. So the methods shown here come mostly from writers and speakers who've successfully altered perceptions through presentations and persuasive reports.
1. Wear the other person's shoes - Ask questions to find out why someone holds a completely different view from yours.
2. Ask that person to amplify his/her position - Are your opponent's views based on actual data, or on disputed or second-hand information that might be challenged?
3. If that person's views are based on data, is the source of that data credible?
4. What common positions do you hold? Politicians can often win a hostile audience by first discussing values everyone shares. If we can agree on common goals, perhaps readers/listeners will follow us when we lead them down new pathways.
5. Can some position be compromised? In negotiations, I often give away a small point in order to show willingness to arrive at an agreement.
6. Point out your side's best points. Remember the fence-painting episode from "Tom Sawyer"? Tom makes his task seem so appealing his friends offer him all sorts of prizes if he'll let them participate.
7. Speaking of "good points" - Sometimes negotiation can become a "listing" contest. Can you reinforce your position by listing a number of positive things about your proposal? Example: "Ten reasons you should vote for Proposition A."
Rix Quinn
Friday, May 29, 2009
Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method
The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any situation, but often people ask me, "Well, its often a fact that conflict happens unexpectedly. What if I don't have time to prepare? Can negotiation skills be used on the spur of the moment?" The answer is YES.
The principles of Street Negotiation were created and battle-tested on the streets and it's power lies in its ability to be used to resolve any conflict anytime. Conflict can be resolved in six easy to learn steps, acronymed as BEDROL (Back-up plan, Emotional control, Defusing their anger, Reframing, Options, and Letting them choose their fate).
1. Back Up Plan
Having a back-up plan before you step into a conflict is absolutely crucial. Police officers sometimes are so accustom to having people do as they say, they become complacent and fail to have a plan B ready in case the person doesn't want to comply. An unfortuanate number of police officers have been killed in the line of duty because they didn't know what to do once the subject refused to comply with their demands. Their lack of a back-up plan made them freeze up, giving the suspect enough time to overpower them.
By having a plan B in your pocket prior to dealing with any conflict, you can remain confident that you can still move forward even if your negotiation fails. Remember that your plan B is your best solution that you can come up with on your own without having to talk with your counterpart. For the hostage negotiator, this could mean using the tactical team to take control by force. For two angry neighbors, this could mean going to court. Your plan B gives you the confidence to deal with your counterpart and the ability to move forward, whether you reach an agreement with them or not.
2. Emotional Control
Your anger is the biggest challege towards resolving the conflict peacefully. You need to control your anger by separating the person from the problem. Have pity on the person for attacking you because their real anger lies in the problem, not with you. View the situation rationally without allowing anger into the equation. You always have to remember that if you react with anger-then you've lost the battle.
3. Defusing their anger
The other obstacle to overcome is your counterpart's anger and frustration. These emotions are blinding them from seeing things rationally. Their primary focus is that they were wronged and now they want retribution-often from you. Think of their emotions like a pressure cooker on a stovetop.
There are two ways of releasing the pressure:
a. You can pop the lid and the have the contents explode out of the pot from the sudden change in pressure
b. You can engage the pressure-release valve and slowly let that steam pressure out of the cooker which will enable you to open the lid without injury.
The same is true for an angry person. You want to hit their pressure release switch by using active listening skills. Listen and acknowledge this concerns. Engage them in empathetic responses by trying to walk around in their shoes. Paraphrase back to them what they told you in your own words. You will see a dramatic difference in their level of hostility as they get to vent their anger.
4. Reframing
Now comes the time when you must reframe their position into interests. Do this by first reframing them from an enemy into a partner. Then reframe all their personal attacks on you back on the problem. Then finally, uncover their interests behind their demands with nonconfrontational questions.
5. Options
Discuss options with them and get them involved in the process of thinking about possibilities for a solution. You might have to present some various options that they have available to them. Strive for a cooperative effort to find mutually-satisfying options that will benefit both parties.
6. Letting them choose their fate
Empower your counterpart with the choice to make their own fate. Don't back them into a corner by telling them what to do. Human beings need control over their own life, otherwise they feel threatened. Let them pick the option that you both have discussed. If they still fail to comply at this point then ask them what the possible consequences are if no agreement can be made. As a last resort, use your back-up plan as an alternative to the negotiation.
Tristan Loo
The principles of Street Negotiation were created and battle-tested on the streets and it's power lies in its ability to be used to resolve any conflict anytime. Conflict can be resolved in six easy to learn steps, acronymed as BEDROL (Back-up plan, Emotional control, Defusing their anger, Reframing, Options, and Letting them choose their fate).
1. Back Up Plan
Having a back-up plan before you step into a conflict is absolutely crucial. Police officers sometimes are so accustom to having people do as they say, they become complacent and fail to have a plan B ready in case the person doesn't want to comply. An unfortuanate number of police officers have been killed in the line of duty because they didn't know what to do once the subject refused to comply with their demands. Their lack of a back-up plan made them freeze up, giving the suspect enough time to overpower them.
By having a plan B in your pocket prior to dealing with any conflict, you can remain confident that you can still move forward even if your negotiation fails. Remember that your plan B is your best solution that you can come up with on your own without having to talk with your counterpart. For the hostage negotiator, this could mean using the tactical team to take control by force. For two angry neighbors, this could mean going to court. Your plan B gives you the confidence to deal with your counterpart and the ability to move forward, whether you reach an agreement with them or not.
2. Emotional Control
Your anger is the biggest challege towards resolving the conflict peacefully. You need to control your anger by separating the person from the problem. Have pity on the person for attacking you because their real anger lies in the problem, not with you. View the situation rationally without allowing anger into the equation. You always have to remember that if you react with anger-then you've lost the battle.
3. Defusing their anger
The other obstacle to overcome is your counterpart's anger and frustration. These emotions are blinding them from seeing things rationally. Their primary focus is that they were wronged and now they want retribution-often from you. Think of their emotions like a pressure cooker on a stovetop.
There are two ways of releasing the pressure:
a. You can pop the lid and the have the contents explode out of the pot from the sudden change in pressure
b. You can engage the pressure-release valve and slowly let that steam pressure out of the cooker which will enable you to open the lid without injury.
The same is true for an angry person. You want to hit their pressure release switch by using active listening skills. Listen and acknowledge this concerns. Engage them in empathetic responses by trying to walk around in their shoes. Paraphrase back to them what they told you in your own words. You will see a dramatic difference in their level of hostility as they get to vent their anger.
4. Reframing
Now comes the time when you must reframe their position into interests. Do this by first reframing them from an enemy into a partner. Then reframe all their personal attacks on you back on the problem. Then finally, uncover their interests behind their demands with nonconfrontational questions.
5. Options
Discuss options with them and get them involved in the process of thinking about possibilities for a solution. You might have to present some various options that they have available to them. Strive for a cooperative effort to find mutually-satisfying options that will benefit both parties.
6. Letting them choose their fate
Empower your counterpart with the choice to make their own fate. Don't back them into a corner by telling them what to do. Human beings need control over their own life, otherwise they feel threatened. Let them pick the option that you both have discussed. If they still fail to comply at this point then ask them what the possible consequences are if no agreement can be made. As a last resort, use your back-up plan as an alternative to the negotiation.
Tristan Loo
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