How To Enhance Your Communication Skills

Do you have and carry the communication skills in you? How effective are you in your dialogue and do you gather enough attention of the listeners or audience when you speak? These are the questions that need to be answered if you want yourself to be appreciated and heard among the crowd.

Communication skills affect your interpersonal and social relationship with others and the response you get from them. Communication skills let you gather attention of the listeners when you talk.

Here are 6 skills that can make you impressive when you speak and can groom your personality:
1. Try to sound more polite
Always bear in mind to greet the listeners or audience before making an oral presentation or starting a conversation. Tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and at the end, summarize what you have told them.

2. Be more articulate
People would judge your competency through the vocabulary you use. So make sure to exert extra effort to pronounce the last sound in a word and use its energy to carry over the following word. But then if you are not sure how to say a certain word, then do not use it at all, which can only pull down your communication skill instead of boosting it up.

3. Try sounding more intelligent
Pause deliberately at some key points—this adds to the effect of highlighting the significance of a particular point you are making. Try to speak just a bit slow to allow yourself to choose your most appropriate vocabulary and to give the impression of being thoughtful.

4. Be more confident
Hold your head as if you wear a crown on it. Carry your whole body up and do not let your legs and arms have a side-to-side motion when you move. Always keep your knees and elbows close to the midline of your body. On the whole, your body movements express what your thoughts and attitudes really are and controlling them adds to your communication skill.

5. Try to sound more polished
Don’t just answer a question with a blunt “no” or “yes”. Add or attach a short phrase of clarification. For instance, “Yes, I know Madam.” “No, I do not see it.”

6. Sound more touchy
Most individuals are best at absorbing information they receive through their eyes, while others need hands on experience to set the message in their heads most effectively. So try to assess and judge how your listeners or audience are more comfy taking information from you and make sure you feed them in the same way as they like.

7. Be more powerful-sounding
Do not ever shout or whisper—but speak clearly. Use short and simple declarative sentences. Convey to your listeners that you mean what you say and say what you mean. Do away with useless adjectives, adverbs and connectors, especially superlatives.

Communication skills, as with most personal skills cannot be taught. One could only point the way. So as always, practice is the key and truly essential to enhance those skills generally and give it your best shot every time you speak.

Amy Twain

Covert Persuasion: 3 Powerful Covert Persuasion Techniques That Produce Astonishing Results

In this modern world, covert persuasion techniques are your weapons. They help you gain advantage in the playing field and keep you ahead of the game. Whether you’re a sales person, a mother, a teenager or just a simple guy trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket, covert persuasion techniques are your best friends.

These subliminal methods of persuasion come in different forms and are useful in different situations. Check out some of them below and see which one you think best suits you

# 1: Association With Good Or Positive Things
Larry, 28, is an advertising manager for a large appliance company. Part of his job is to meet with clients left and right. However, Larry doesn’t always meet his clients in the office. In fact, he often meets with them in reputable restaurants. They eat, discuss the deal and at the end of the meeting, he foots the bill.

No matter how expensive the meal is, Larry will pay for all of it (with the company’s money, of course). It might not seem like an example of a covert persuasion technique but that’s only to those who are not familiar with this business. What Larry used was actually the law of association.

He wanted his clients to feel good about this meeting. That explains the good restaurant, the good food and the footing of the bill. His clients will then associate their good experience with Larry and the company he works for.

Using the law of association is a very powerful subliminal method of persuasion. You, too, can harness the law of association to your own advantage. Always associate yourself with good things and others will see you in that light as well.

# 2: Being A Friend
The law of friends has been around for centuries. It states that people would usually help those they perceive as their friends. This law can be quite useful even when you’re already working. Some of the best business opportunities are even provided by friends!

For example, if you’re a dentist and want to increase your patients, I suggest letting your friends know about it first. Even friends who haven’t seen since high school will be more than glad to help you out. That is because your friends trust you and in what you can do. Covert Persuasion

# 3: Disassociation From Negative Things
The Law of disassociation is the complete opposite of the law of association. If you can’t afford to be seen in a bad light, then this is a subliminal persuasion tactic that might help you a lot.

I remember one incident where the law of disassociation came quite in handy. It was a friend’s experience; not mine. In his own words, here’s what he told me:

“Back when I was still in college, I had to face one of the most grueling challenges in every relationship: meeting the parents. Things were going well at first until after dinner when we stayed in the living room to watch television. The local news channel was reporting a fraternity fight that broke out between two schools. One of them was my old alma matter. There couldn’t be a worse time for that bit of news to come out. The father knew where I studied in high school, of course, having already grilled me hours before. ‘Does your school often get into these fights?’ the father asked. ‘They don’t really get into fights often. That one seems like a solitary case.’

I said.” Notice that my friend used the words “they” and “that.” By disassociating himself from the school, he also got rid of the father’s notion of him being a hooligan. Using covert persuasion techniques to your advantage does not make you a selfish person. It only means that you have a better understanding of human nature.

Michael Lee

An Amazingly Simple Formula on How to Attain Financial Freedom So That You Never Have to Worry About Money Again!

After several years of research, reading all types of money making books, investing in all types of business opportunities, my wife and I have finally realized a simple way that’s helped many people become financially free. I won’t pretend that I have the magic formula that will: make you $100,000 in 3 minutes while you sit on the couch, or allow you to retire next week without ever leaving the house!

Now, I’m not saying that the folks who sell those programs are lying because I haven’t done them all, but years ago, I tried a couple of them and let’s just say the only thing that happened while I sat on the couch was I made an imprint!

Let’s face it: If you truly want to get rich & achieve financial independence, it’s going to take some work! However, if I told you that you could become rich and increase your net worth (regardless of how much money you currently make) by using a tried and true formula that consists of 3 simple steps, would you believe me? Well you should, because it works!

How do I know? Because We Have Used This Formula to Increase Our Net Worth Over 300% over the past 7 years! It could happen sooner or it might take a little longer for you depending on your situation. But, what I can guarantee is that if you follow these three simple steps, YOU WILL ACHIEVE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!

I’ve spent many years (AND DOLLARS) looking for ways to become rich and financially free. I can honestly tell you that of the many things I’ve tried, some worked and some didn’t. Instead of getting upset about the things that didn’t work, my wife and I had a conversation and we simply asked ourselves, “Of all the things we’ve tried that did work, what did they have in common?”

And that is how we were able to come up with the simple 3 step formula that we’ve been following for the past several years that has allowed us to walk the path towards wealth and financial independence. Before I share the formula with you, let me just answer one question so that you can decide if I’m someone you want to listen to or not:

QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FINANCIAL FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE, OR BEING RICH?

I think if you were to ask ten different people this question, you’d get ten different answers. So, what I consider being rich might be totally different than what you consider being rich. However, financial freedom for me was the point where my wife and I did not have to have jobs in order to sustain our quality of life. I’m not saying that having a job is a bad thing. But the key is working somewhere because you want to, not because you have to! And being financially independent will make it much easier for you to decide if you want to have a job or not.

SO WHAT IS THIS FORMULA? As I mentioned earlier, it is 3 simple actions. The greatest thing about the formula is that you don’t have to do the steps in any particular order. You can do them one at a time or work on all three simultaneously:

Step 1: Debt Reduction
In order to get rich, you have to reduce the amount of debt that you owe others. It is important to know that not all debt is bad. Good debt is that debt which helps you to become richer. As one famous author puts it, “Good debt is that which someone else pays for you”. Your goal should be to get rid of bad debt first and then work to eliminate good debt.

Step 2: Expense Management
In order to get rich, you must manage expenses. You need to identify where you are spending your money and then determine what is absolutely necessary and where you can trim. This doesn’t mean you have to change your way of life, but instead take better control by being prepared. Your goal should be to prepare for new expenses in advance while minimizing the risks of being caught off guard.

Step 3: Multiple Income Streams
In order to get rich, you must have more than one source of revenue. So often I hear people say, I could be rich if I just got a higher paying job. Believe me, there are financially free people who make less than $40,000 annually, and there are people making over $100,000 annually who are broke. It’s not about making more money from one source of revenue; it’s about making money from more sources. Think about it: if you make $50,000 from one income stream (e.g. job) and you lose that job, you are temporarily doomed. But if you make $5,000 from ten income streams (e.g. businesses, stocks, real estate, etc.) and you lose one (maybe the stocks tank), you still have $45,000 coming in. There are tons of books, seminars and courses you can take on building streams of income. Your goal should be to always have 4 or more income streams going.

So there you have it. An amazingly simple three step formula on how to attain financial freedom so that you never have to worry about money again!

Brandon Wilkins

Lessons From Anakin Skywalker: Making Better Choices Through Recognizing And Managing Our Fears

In the latest and final Star Wars saga, Anakin Skywalker makes the choice to surrender to the dark side of the force. Thus makes his transformation complete into the evil Darth Vader. This choice is motivated by Anakin's fearful premonition that his pregnant wife Padme will die in childbirth. We watch as the tormented Anakin succumbs to the influence of Chancellor Palpatine who suggests that it might be possible to save Padme using the dark side of the force.

Anakin's choice to compromise all his other principles, Jedi values, in order to save his wife is both tragic and understandably human. How many of us have made wrong life or business choices out of the fear of losing something whether its pride, money, relationships, being popular, or missing out on some exciting experience? We then experience a negative consequence because we compromised what we knew was right. Perhaps it could be our values, in favor of a misperceived fear that clouds our better judgment.

In Anakin's case his fear of losing Padme becomes a self- fulfilling prophecy. He is driven and consumed by his fear and all his subsequent destructive actions are rooted in fear. In the process of surrendering to his fears and eventually to the dark side of the force, Anakin loses his compassion, his trust, and his heartfelt connection to others.

Anakin's dilemma can be seen in the context of business. In times of economic uncertainty, leaders may resort to reactionary decisions such as cutting costs or reducing headcount. What appears to provide immediate relief actually fails to produce the desired outcome. Morale, productivity and company culture are adversely affected. Business leaders whose decisions are motivated from apprehension or distress about the future give power to their fears. And like Anakin, those fears can turn into self-fulfilling prophecies that cause harm.

In contrast to decisions motivated by fear are decisions which take us towards a positive vision. If a choice is made from belief in vision, company culture, adherence to core values and trust in the future, the driving motivation can be fulfillment or satisfaction. Operating by the above principles may not always be easy and can be very challenging during times of uncertainty. However, decisions made from these principles will always prove to be more fulfilling as integrity and authenticity are preserved.

How can you tell the difference in what motivates your choices? If that decision causes worry, anxiety and being attached to a future event, you can bet there is fear involved. If you are calm, trusting, energized and focused on things working out, that choice is most likely coming from positive belief.

Even with the best of intentions, fear is something that can creep in on all of us. However, we can manage our fears, if we step back and really look at what's driving us. Don't let fear sabotage your decision making as in Anakin's case. Determine what your core values, purpose and mission are. Clarify your own Jedi values and then ask yourself the following questions:
Will this decision move me closer or farther away from my core values?
Is this decision based on a reactive solution that may violate my core values or company culture?
What are other possibilities for my business or life that I haven't considered or addressed?
How can I communicate and elicit support from the people I trust for the challenges I am facing?
How can I learn to exercise patience and mindfulness as I face my challenges?

It is interesting to see what would have happened if Anakin Skywalker had asked himself these questions before he turned to the dark side of the force. But then again, we might not have had all those great movies to enjoy. "May The Force Be With You!"

Philip Okrend

How To Master The Art And Science Of Super Salesmanship in 3½ Minutes Flat

I am not a born salesman. If you know my story, I didn't even have a word of the English language on my lips when I first moved to North America. (Even now, my spoken English is not all that great and it comes with an accent that would put Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jackie Chan to shame.)

No, I wasn't born to sell. I had to learn selling... the HARD way: making embarrassing mistakes, blowing deals right and left, losing clients... and going to outrageous extremes trying to identify the world-class salesmen who would teach me the way to do things right. Well, it's taken a few years... quite a few years, I'll admit, but now I've identified the "tricks of the trade" of selling.

What Took Me Years Will Be Yours In 3 ½ Minutes Flat!

Tricks of the Trade #1 - People don't like to be sold
That's right! Although every year, trillions of dollars worth of goods and services are bought and sold -- billions through the mail alone -- people actually don't like the IDEA of being sold. What they DO like is the idea of OWNING the product, or taking advantage of the service that is being sold.

Look at the people in your own life -- friends, family, or business colleagues. Many of them, no doubt, love to buy things. (My girlfriend has a "black belt" in shopping) But I'll bet that none of them like to be sold. In fact, with most people, if you try to sell them something, they'll become resistant. It's a natural response to perceived pressure.

In fact, selling may turn-off a prospect who was ready to buy. So if you can't SELL, what you can do is TELL. In order to tell you about my product or service:
I get your attention...
I build rapport with you...
I explain what's in it for you...
I tempt you by appealing to your emotions...
I create a verbal picture that teases your desires...
I demonstrate how my stuff can easily solve your problems...
I can prove to you that there're a lot people just like you who have bought and are very happy with my stuff...
I make you an absolutely irresistible offer...
I describe a deal where you risk nothing, and yet stand to gain a great deal...
I handle every single one of your objections...

This is exactly what you've gotta do when you're writing a sales letter. Don't apply pressure and don't bully your prospect with force. Use a little finesse instead. Don't force it -- romance the hell out of it. If you TELL you, I don't have to SELL you... you'll sell yourself! (And that's killer salesmanship, my friend!)

Tricks of the Trade #2 - Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
With each sales pitch you create, you must focus on the need or desire that your product will satisfy. If we only buy what we NEED, there'll be No Rolex, No BMW, No Mercedes, No Botox, and definitely NO Starbucks coffee. We certainly don't NEED any of that stuff, but we WANT them!

Here's what most people are looking for in one way or another:
More money
More free time
More respect
Better physical health
Better mental health
Less stress

Remember, people buy what they WANT, not what they NEED.

Tricks of the Trade #3 - Even When They're Sold, People Need To Satisfy Their Emotional Decisions With Logic
Even though people buy for emotional reasons, they need to feel that their decision was backed by solid logical reasons. Think about TV commercials for cars. They offer a perfect picture of "justification."

Here's how they work:
First, there's a stirring image of the car itself - beautiful, stylish, new. (In your head: Wow! That car looks cool...)
In the background, there's a mountainous landscape (In your head: Wow! That's rugged... like me!) or a five-star hotel (In your head: Wow! That car would give me status."
And, of course, no car commercial would be complete without a beautiful, sexy woman. (In your head: ...let's not go there!)
Next, you see an interior shot to show how luxurious your life will be with this car. You get to listen to state-of-the-art sound system. (In your head: Hmm... I can listen to my favorite music.)
Then, there's a shot of the car driving by the ocean. Put it all together and you have an effective 20-second movie that's designed entirely to appeal to emotion.
But wait, the car commercials don't stop here.
Oh...no way. At the end, they "get down to business" with numerous bits and pieces of information - the size of the engine, statistics on fuel economy, speed, weight, interior space, rankings in national survey, financing information and customer satisfaction reports, and so on.
It flashes by at lightening speed, usually so quickly that you can't read it.

But Don't Worry: All This Data Isn't Meant To Sell The Car. It's included to make YOU feel good and justify the decision you've already made. (I'm gonna buy that baby now or when I got some money because it's the SMART thing to do!)

The lesson: People CAN be convinced, when the facts are explained, when the risk is taken away, and when their deepest, most selfish desires have been tickled and nurtured and seduced.

All right, time's up! Whew... right on time. 3-½ minutes. (Hey, I don't just always "hype" the headline to get you to read my stuff, do I?)

Dan Lok

How to Change Somebody's Mind

Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all.

But while researching my book on how to produce more memorable writing, I stumbled upon these "mind changing" ideas from multiple sources.

Remember, I'm a writer, not a psychologist. So the methods shown here come mostly from writers and speakers who've successfully altered perceptions through presentations and persuasive reports.

1. Wear the other person's shoes - Ask questions to find out why someone holds a completely different view from yours.

2. Ask that person to amplify his/her position - Are your opponent's views based on actual data, or on disputed or second-hand information that might be challenged?

3. If that person's views are based on data, is the source of that data credible?

4. What common positions do you hold? Politicians can often win a hostile audience by first discussing values everyone shares. If we can agree on common goals, perhaps readers/listeners will follow us when we lead them down new pathways.

5. Can some position be compromised? In negotiations, I often give away a small point in order to show willingness to arrive at an agreement.

6. Point out your side's best points. Remember the fence-painting episode from "Tom Sawyer"? Tom makes his task seem so appealing his friends offer him all sorts of prizes if he'll let them participate.

7. Speaking of "good points" - Sometimes negotiation can become a "listing" contest. Can you reinforce your position by listing a number of positive things about your proposal? Example: "Ten reasons you should vote for Proposition A."

Rix Quinn

Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method

The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any situation, but often people ask me, "Well, its often a fact that conflict happens unexpectedly. What if I don't have time to prepare? Can negotiation skills be used on the spur of the moment?" The answer is YES.

The principles of Street Negotiation were created and battle-tested on the streets and it's power lies in its ability to be used to resolve any conflict anytime. Conflict can be resolved in six easy to learn steps, acronymed as BEDROL (Back-up plan, Emotional control, Defusing their anger, Reframing, Options, and Letting them choose their fate).

1. Back Up Plan
Having a back-up plan before you step into a conflict is absolutely crucial. Police officers sometimes are so accustom to having people do as they say, they become complacent and fail to have a plan B ready in case the person doesn't want to comply. An unfortuanate number of police officers have been killed in the line of duty because they didn't know what to do once the subject refused to comply with their demands. Their lack of a back-up plan made them freeze up, giving the suspect enough time to overpower them.

By having a plan B in your pocket prior to dealing with any conflict, you can remain confident that you can still move forward even if your negotiation fails. Remember that your plan B is your best solution that you can come up with on your own without having to talk with your counterpart. For the hostage negotiator, this could mean using the tactical team to take control by force. For two angry neighbors, this could mean going to court. Your plan B gives you the confidence to deal with your counterpart and the ability to move forward, whether you reach an agreement with them or not.

2. Emotional Control
Your anger is the biggest challege towards resolving the conflict peacefully. You need to control your anger by separating the person from the problem. Have pity on the person for attacking you because their real anger lies in the problem, not with you. View the situation rationally without allowing anger into the equation. You always have to remember that if you react with anger-then you've lost the battle.

3. Defusing their anger
The other obstacle to overcome is your counterpart's anger and frustration. These emotions are blinding them from seeing things rationally. Their primary focus is that they were wronged and now they want retribution-often from you. Think of their emotions like a pressure cooker on a stovetop.

There are two ways of releasing the pressure:
a. You can pop the lid and the have the contents explode out of the pot from the sudden change in pressure
b. You can engage the pressure-release valve and slowly let that steam pressure out of the cooker which will enable you to open the lid without injury.

The same is true for an angry person. You want to hit their pressure release switch by using active listening skills. Listen and acknowledge this concerns. Engage them in empathetic responses by trying to walk around in their shoes. Paraphrase back to them what they told you in your own words. You will see a dramatic difference in their level of hostility as they get to vent their anger.

4. Reframing
Now comes the time when you must reframe their position into interests. Do this by first reframing them from an enemy into a partner. Then reframe all their personal attacks on you back on the problem. Then finally, uncover their interests behind their demands with nonconfrontational questions.

5. Options
Discuss options with them and get them involved in the process of thinking about possibilities for a solution. You might have to present some various options that they have available to them. Strive for a cooperative effort to find mutually-satisfying options that will benefit both parties.

6. Letting them choose their fate
Empower your counterpart with the choice to make their own fate. Don't back them into a corner by telling them what to do. Human beings need control over their own life, otherwise they feel threatened. Let them pick the option that you both have discussed. If they still fail to comply at this point then ask them what the possible consequences are if no agreement can be made. As a last resort, use your back-up plan as an alternative to the negotiation.

Tristan Loo

The Most Powerful Persuasion Skill You'll Ever Learn: Criteria Elicitation

This is without a doubt the most important persuasion skill that you can learn. If you'll learn to apply this to every situation in which you find yourself you'll be amazed at the positive results! Many of the hypnotic skills I'll be sharing with you have a parallel in old sales training techniques. This one is no exception!

Lets say that you are needing to convince someone to do something, accept something, or behave in a certain way. You will need to communicate with their powerful subconscious (SC) to get your desired agreement. Once a person's subconscious "buys in" to what you are proposing they will just naturally seem to come over to your way of thinking. The question then becomes "how do I get my message to the person's subconscious?"

Here's your answer-elicit their true criteria. Simply put, ask. Try this one:
SALESMAN: John, what's important to you when shopping for a new car?
JOHN: Well I like to know that the person I'm dealing with is honest.
SALESMAN: Yes honesty is the best policy. What else is valuable to you when you are making the decision about a car?
JOHN: I like to know the car has a high reliability rating from Consumer Reports.
SALESMAN: An unreliable car is not an acceptable situation. What else is important john?
JOHN: I want to know that I got a really good price.

In the above can you put John's criteria in order of importance? If you chose 3, 2, 1 you were right! Our hypnotically trained sales man knew to ask at least three times what was really important or valuable. He agreed and parroted each answer so that John's SC would react to him as a friend (rapport). John's SC would give increasingly important info each time he was asked what's important. So our salesman needs to focus on showing John that he is getting a good price on a reliable car from a trusted advisor.

When you need to convince someone first you should establish rapport. The easiest way to do that is to ask some questions about things important to that person. Some people go after rapport by starting with stuff like "how do you like this weather?" A great way to establish rapport is to share some detail from your own life first.
"John you should have been with me last week at the golf range! I was hitting them long and straight!"
"My daughter just got the lead in the school play!"

People usually respond with instant liking for you when you share a detail from your life. Once you have conversed for awhile (small talk?) then you can get to the elicitation stage.
"Boss-what's important to you about how my sales job is performed?" What else? What else?

Surveys are formalized attempts at criteria elicitation. Once you know someone's criteria then you have the roadmap to structure your persuasion attempts. By focusing on their criteria you will be seen as perceptive, insightful and caring!
"Honey what's valuable to you in a relationship" What else? What else?

Structure your communication to take advantage of the criteria that you have elicited and you'll always come out a winner!

Any Questions?

John M. Satterfield

7 Effective Ways To Set Your Goals In Motion Today

1. Stop seeking approval from people
You don't need anyone's permission to fulfill your dream. Trust yourself and give yourself permission to succeed. Having support from people whose opinion you value is a wonderful thing but it should not be the criterion for whether you begin acting on fulfilling your goals or not
If you really desire to turn your idea into reality, constantly floating it around and seeking the approval of people will waste your time and kill your dream. What will happen to your idea if you don't get the approval of those whose permission you so desperately need? Nothing!

2. Don't wait for perfection
Waiting for a time when everything is perfect and in place will cause you to lose your enthusiasm and abandon your goal. Conditions may never be as perfect as you desire. You may never have all the money, time, or knowledge you desire to begin working on your goals.
You must take risks, learn and improve as you go along and then watch as everything begins to fall in place. If you have to wait for the perfect time to begin working on your goals?you will be waiting a long time!

3. Create time for the goal
Many people have dreams, ideas or goals, which remain unfulfilled because they are too busy doing everything else but work on the goal! If you have a goal to accomplish, you must be ready to invest your time, and resources to ensure that it succeeds.
Making excuses about lacking the time to work on goals that are important to you is a procrastination tactic, which will kill your dream before it has a chance to see the light of day. There is always time to work on what we love and consider important. Create that time and see your dreams begin to unfold!

4. Decide once and for all
The process of goal accomplishment, like most things in life begins with a decision. You decide what you want to achieve and then you plan how you intend to achieve it.
If accomplishing your goal is important to you, your inability to make crucial decisions about what you should do, how you should do it and when you should do it, will waste your time and choke your dream. Make up your mind and stop second-guessing yourself. When your mind is made up?nothing can stop you from making progress with fulfilling your goals.

5. Be bold and take the initiative
Be bold! You are the one in charge of turning your dreams to reality. You need to be proactive and actively involved in the process of working on your goals to ensure you achieve them.
Just because you have shared your ideas with others does not necessarily mean that you are no longer responsible for turning them to reality. Don't sit around waiting for others to make suggestions and guide your idea to reality. Don't leave your dream entirely in the hands of others. Nobody cares about your dream like you do.

6. Invest in your dream
No idea is self-funding. Don't be deceived into thinking that people will invest or finance your idea just because it is brilliant. If you are lucky, someone may invest in it, but if you are not, you will have to invest your time, energy and finances towards activities that will fortify and fulfill your dream.
You may have to invest in the acquisition of knowledge or expertise that will help you achieve your goals. It would be a good idea to keep some money stashed away to finance your goal.

7. Do one thing at a time
Commit yourself only to projects and activities which are connected to your main goal. Whatever you do should directly or indirectly add up to a move toward your main goal. Failure to do this will confuse, overwhelm, sidetrack, and drain your energy.
To get started on achieving your goals, you need to plan for it and make it a priority. If you keep crowding and cluttering your life with what does not matter, you many never, ever accomplish your goals.
Remember that you can't do all things, but you can do one thing!

Caroline Jalango

10 Attributes of Effective Strategic Leaders!

Did you know that people who lead strategically resemble fine-tuned machines? By focusing on their strategies, leaders see a bigger picture, they understand the reasons why and recognize the worthiness of elusive opportunities.

Effective leaders make strategic use of and add value to every challenge in four important ways:
1) Thinking through the lessons to be learned in each situation;
2) Leveraging the available sources, imports and exports of energy;
3) Boosting weak, diffused signals and messages of meaning;
4) Sharpening the leading edge of innovative efforts - their people.

What are these attributes of strategic leaders? Let's describe those functions by comparing them with common mechanical devices:
* Engine - converting one energy source into a greater or more focused source of energy;

* Pump - concentrating and directing a source of energy in such a way as to provide a focal point for the user of that energy;

* Processor - manipulation of energy in such a way as to make a value, logic or null based decision to channel that original energy source;

* Channel - a directing of or being a conduit for energy without adding or enhancing that energy source in any appreciable way;

* Amplifier - the expansion of energy by using methods of analysis in such a way so as to increase or strengthen the original energy source;

* Filter - maintaining smooth, stable, unpolluted flows of energy through the cleansing, clarifying process of open and honest communications

* Catalyst - that which encourages and facilitates speedy, significant course changes or positive actions

* Transformer - the conversion of energy into another form so as to increase or enhance the magnitude of the original energy source;

* Synthesizer - combining or composing the elements of an energy source in such a way as to create a new or greater whole form of energy;

* Carburetor - mixing or combining a supply of energy in such a way as to facilitate a more powerful or effective use of that energy source.

Making skilled use of leadership in these suggested roles could improve, energize and empower the success of your strategic planning process. By being mechanical you could become an instrument which enables energy flows.

Remember energy can not be created and it can not be destroyed. However, energy can be re-directed, converted into new forms or released into the environment and become another form of energy.

You could also think of using these mechanical processes to develop, train and nurture the leadership behaviors, skills and competencies of your people.

"Dreams grow holy put in action; work grows fair through starry dreaming, But where each flows on unmingling, both are fruitless and in vain." - Adelaide Anne Procter

Are you using your planning process to energize and electrify the commitment of your people to imaginatively exploit the opportunities of change? Leaders help transform dreams into holy action and energizing, empowering work products.

Be that strategic leader who empowers others to be proud of and enjoy the fruits of their labors!

Bill Thomas

10 Coaching Tips for Powerful Presentations

Tip #1: The purpose of your speech is to get results
Help people make changes and think or act differently. So start with the end in mind. What do you want people to do as a result of your speech? What do they need to know to do this? What do they need to feel to do this?

Tip #2: Show your audience that coaching is a process
It is different from consulting. Do some coaching (role playing) during your presentation. Let audience members see what it would be like to have you as their coach.

Tip #3: Determine what kind of coaching the client wants and needs
Interview a few people before you give your program to find out what challenges they are experiencing. The program chair can provide you with a few names to contact. Then use this information in your speech content.

Tip #4: People learn in three ways: Visual (what they can see), Auditory (what they can hear), and Kinesthetic (what they can touch)
Try to include all three ways in your speech. Most of your audience will be visual and need to "see" what they "hear" from you. So tell your personal stories to support your points. When the audience hears your story(ies) they will feel connected to you.

Tip #5: People have short attention spans
Review your main points before you end your speech. Don't give them too much information. Most people only remember one or two concepts - so provide your best one or two ideas that will have the most significance to that particular audience.

Tip #6: Be conversational by engaging the audience
Don't lecture the audience. Adults love to learn but don't like to think they are in school. Be interactive. Remember, the audience that gets involved with your material will learn something they can use immediately. A great speaker wants the audience to "own" his/her material.

Tip #7: Use humor
This keeps the audience interested and they learn better. I don't mean telling jokes. Use deprecating humor or make comments on common every day events, you know, the human condition. Bill Cosby is great at this. Think of others who do this well and emulate their style.

Tip #8: Use strong openings
Examples: a story, a significant statement, a quotation, a challenging question. You really only have 60 seconds to connect with your audience. Then you must provide a speech that engages them. Using personal stories and sprinkling your remarks with humor will keep them interested

Tip #9: Use Strong Closings
Examples: Provide a summary. (Tell 'em what you told them) Review the main points, make a statement, tell an anecdote. Finally challenge them to take some action . . . immediately, in the next 48 hours, in one week, by the end of the year.

Tip #10: Use an evaluation form
This will provide you with feedback to grow and make course corrections as needed. Keep it short and always ask, "Who else would benefit from this program?" "May I call you to get this information?" Then follow up.

Sandra Schrift

Succeed By Trying To Fly Like Rambo

Many people never find out what they can achieve until life has passed them by and with it the chance to discover what they are capable of. In Rambo III, the hero hijacks a Soviet attack helicopter in Afghanistan during the Afghan-Soviet war. His friend, the Colonel, asks: "Can you fly that thing?"

Rambo's reply is memorable: "Let's find out!" He wastes no time climbing aboard and 'finding out'. Of course, he can not only fly it, he can also fire rockets from it. He soon makes full use of both abilities! The experienced Soviet pilots are no match for him.

Notice that he does not confidently say: "I can fly that helicopter!" Instead his attitude is surprisingly less macho. The words "Let's find out!" imply that he will "try" and see if he can fly the helicopter. Some self help gurus argue that only wimps use words like "try".

I disagree. Wimps don't try even when there is a possibility of success. They give up before they even start or at the first hurdle. Strong people try without boasting that they will succeed. Reality demands that they walk before they can run or fly! They try and keep trying. Then, as they succeed step by step, their confidence can grow to the point where they believe strongly that they can and will achieve victory.

Reality teaches again and again that the most confident and the most experienced don't always succeed. Even the great Muhammad Ali and Iron Mike Tyson were eventually defeated.

Unlike Muhammad Ali, the fictional Rambo never boasts about what a great fighter he is. The Colonel does that for him. When a Mujahadeen fighter doubts Rambo's abilities in battle, Rambo makes no comment. He lets his actions win respect as he rescues the Colonel.

Sports teams and their fans often boast that they will win before a game although, to be fair, they are frequently joking. Time and again, their boasts are proved wrong. However, if the team tries hard, their fans will usually forgive them. They will not forgive a lack of ambition or effort. They will not forgive a team that fails to try.

Sometimes, teams that try hard against teams that are supposed to be far superior to them find that they are doing better than they thought they would. Their confidence rockets and they end up victorious.

In one of the first matches of the 2008 Six Nations Rugby Union Championship, Wales played England at Twickenham, the home of English rugby. Wales had seldom beaten England on their home ground and had exited the 2007 World Cup early. England, on the other hand had reached the final.

No one was surprised that England was leading at half time. But in the second half, Wales started to try harder and, as their point score went up, the Welsh team grew in confidence until they were playing like men possessed. Wales won and have gone on to beat every other team they have played so far in the championship. They achieved all this simply because they began to try and to try hard.

Recently, in what some call the greatest club soccer competition in the world, the FA cup, teams from the lower English and Welsh leagues have beaten the top teams like Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal. These shock results took place in early March 2008.

They succeeded because they tried very hard. They could easily have rolled over and made the reasonable excuse that the top teams have huge financial resources which allow them to buy up the best players in the world.

Beverly Sills highlights the importance of trying: "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."

If you don't try, you won't fail but you won't achieve much. Even if you fail, you will learn lessons and your skills and knowledge will grow. No one enjoys failing but it may be the quickest road to eventual success.

Sometimes we don't try or we try in a half hearted manner because we have been convinced in childhood or later that we are useless at something. We need to clear our minds of such thoughts and find out the truth for ourselves.

We also need to believe in ourselves enough to try. If we lack enough belief to even try, we can test out methods like affirmations and visualizations to see if they will help us to develop the necessary belief. Google 'affirmations' and 'visualizations' and you will find many websites that can help you learn how to make affirmations and how to visualize.

One site, for example, suggests a variety of ways to affirm effectively. You can affirm while you are walking or exercising. You could for example say: "I am strong and healthy" or "I am improving daily." Repeat this affirmation as you walk or train.

When I was at school in the Isle of Man, I soon discovered that cross country running was not my strong point. However, I improved by repeating one word "Faster" as I ran or, rather, struggled along! I never achieved "fast" but I did achieve "less slow!"

I suggest to my martial arts students that they say to themselves phrases like: "I am becoming faster and stronger." They can say these at training sessions and at gradings when they need to replace nervousness with confidence.

A typical NLP technique suggests that when you say or think something negative like "I am no good at making money," listen in your mind to the phrase diminishing in volume until it disappears. You can then replace that phrase with a positive one like "I am getting good at making money". Let this phrase become louder and louder in your mind until it dominates your thinking.

Another method uses writing. Write down what you want in your life about fifteen times a day. You could write "I am healthy, wealthy and wise." Writing things down is an effective way of releasing the power of your subconscious mind.

The website I visited suggested several affirmations like: "I radiate good health" or "I have all the energy I need to accomplish my goals and to fulfil my desires" or "I am healthy and full of energy and vitality."

Visualization also helps. I tell my students to imagine receiving their blackbelt. If you want to receive money rather than a blackbelt imagine a huge cheque being presented to you instead. Alternatively, you could visual pound notes and/or dollar bills raining down on you from the sky. You will, of course, need to visualize for some time and to take appropriate action daily before these images become true. Do not imagine coins raining down from the sky for obvious reasons.

You could imagine things you don't want like that broken down car spinning away from you and then visualize a smart and powerful car spinning towards you. Imagine it stopping before it knocks you down!

Imagine yourself performing that skill which you are trying to master. See yourself doing the necessary movements with ease. If you are learning how to dance like a Zulu (one of my secret ambitions), imagine yourself stamping on the ground and waving your arms about like one of the best!

Like Rambo, we should climb into that helicopter and try to master the controls. We could find that we, too, can fly and destroy the obstacles that hold us back from success.

John Watson

Discovering Hidden Positives Behind The Negatives

This is a good exercise to use when you want to discover what is really going on behind the scenes of your negative experiences. There is something positive beyond them - you just need to discover what it is.

You see, your higher self sees beyond time and current circumstances. It knows your “true intentions“, even if you are unaware of them consciously, and it will do everything in its power to match you vibrationally to that thing you are “truly” wanting. For instance, if your higher intention is safety and security and something comes up that will jeopardize that safety and security (even if you are unaware that it will jeopardize it at the time) it is not at all surprising that obstacles will suddenly appear to prevent you from making a mistake. Quite often we can misinterpret this obstacles as negative things happening to us or it is just us “not getting what we want when we want it” but there is a little more to it than that.

The point is, quite often we don’t realize when we are right in the thick of what we perceive to be a negative situation, that there is something for our greater good beyond it. We get so focused on cursing the darkness in the tunnel that we forget to look for the light at the end of it. So here is the exercise for you. It comes in two parts with a bonus at the end if you really want to get into it.

Part One
Think back and write down all the times when what you thought was a negative situation turned into a positive one. For instance:

When you had to cancel vacation plans due to work or lack of money and found out later they had a hurricane that week.
When you missed your flight due to bad weather and then found out the plane you were supposed to be on got stuck on the tarmac for 7 hours and you were at least in a comfortable airport with a bar and a bathroom!
When you didn’t get a job you thought you wanted and ended up being available for a better one. When the person you wanted to call you never did, and you ended up meeting the “one” because you were single.
When you missed making the perfect investment, only to find out the company tanked and you would have lost a ton of money.

You get the idea. These things happen all the time. Writing them down helps reaffirm to you that Universe (or your higher self, if you prefer) does in fact have your best interests at heart. If you have a hard time coming up with anything, think about every good thing in your life right now and backtrack. Believe me, you will start to see many ways these things couldn’t have come to you if you had indeed gotten what you originally asked for.

Part Two
Start looking for the light at the end of your tunnel by asking What If? What If The Reason I Haven’t Gotten What I Want Yet Is Because….? Start stretching your mind with ideas of what your higher self might have in store for you that you just haven’t realized yet. For example:

What if (I didn’t get this position) because a better one is waiting for me.
What if (the reason the deal on buying the house fell through) was because the roof is about to collapse this winter and it would have cost me a fortune I wouldn’t have.
What if (the reason he/she hasn’t called me for another date) was because they are total psychos and my higher self knows better than for me to get involved with them.
What if (the reason the car broke down today when I had somewhere really important to be) was because I would have been involved in a major accident if I had been on the highway today. What if (the reason I can’t afford the ski trip right now) is because I would have broken my leg on the slopes.
What if (the reason I am stuck on the absolutely slowest line in the store) is because if I left earlier I would run into someone I really don’t want to see right now.

Really stretch your imagination. The fun part of this exercise is that it can help soothe you through disappointment. But the most important part happens later when you prove yourself to be right and you indeed confirm that your higher self has your best interests at heart. That’s when you begin to trust that everything is happening in exactly the right order. Now for the Bonus Part if you really want to get into it.

Part Three
Try to find your true “hidden intention” as opposed to what you think that you want. For instance, with my Jersey house. I originally thought my intention was to have this beautifully built house in New Jersey. But in truth my “hidden intention” was just to live in a beautiful house I could afford. This was obvious by how I wrote my intention on my list. After struggling financially in our first house, security was really all I was looking for and just hadn’t realized it. It wasn’t until after I received it that I noticed the blessing it really was.

Maybe in your case, your “hidden intention” was to find someone who really cared about you and was interested in the same things you are. You might have originally thought you were going to find this with a person of the opposite sex but instead you found it in the new best friend you made six months ago and you just haven‘t realized it yet. So start enjoying and appreciating that friend that Universe sent you in answer to your request and watch how that higher vibration will automatically attract the opposite sex person you are also wanting. Heck! It might even be through that friend.

We are happily such complicated creatures. So much lies below the surface we aren‘t even aware of. But the daily discovery of these things is what makes life so fun and interesting. Just the fact that you are reading these types of articles means you are already on your way to discovery.

So start looking for the positives that await you in your future. If something you are going through appears negative at the moment, it simply means you haven’t yet discovered the place your higher self is leading you to. Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up and don’t curse the darkness. Start taking the first steps now to finding the light at the end of your tunnel. Happy Creating!

Janeen Clark

I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?

We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process.

The journey challenges individuals to:

1. Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.

You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.

2. Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.

You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you.

You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.

3. Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.

You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one?

If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2009, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you could benefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.

4. Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:

The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.

A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.

Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8-year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.

Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.

Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.

Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier.

Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:

B– stands for belittling self-talk.
Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?

A – stands for awfulizing.
Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision: A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?

D – stands for deceiving.
This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?

S – stands for shoulding.
This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?

5. Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be.

In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”

Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.

Michele Wahlder

When Life Gives You Waves, Learn to S.U.R.F

Would you like to learn a skill set and technique so powerful that you could learn to recycle every failure, disappointment, setback and discouraging situation into a steppingstone for your success? Would you like to go into every situation with confidence knowing you will have the skills to convert it into an experience with a positive benefit?

Imagine skilled and highly trained fighters going into a difficult and scary situation. They don't go looking for it, but when it comes, they are ready and prepared. They realize it will probably be very painful and even scary, but with their training and developed skill set, their odds are favorable.

You have an opportunity to use the same approach to adversities and difficulties entering our lives. We don't go looking for adversity; it finds us. We can't necessarily avoid pain or suffering, but if we use our training, we have a better chance for survival and eventually find some benefit or lesson we can take and claim a victory.

Change, difficulties and adversity will happen. Your only point of control is the surfing skill set you develop to adapt and make the best out of whatever comes your way. It is not really what happens to you that matters as much as your response to what happens. Your response determines your outcome. Think of change and adversity as waves of the ocean, then consider your response to those waves. Success is not necessarily in your talents and abilities, but in the choices you make in application to the waves. You can't change or fight the wave. Your only real choice is to adapt to it.

Apply the S.U.R.F. Strategy? to Make the Best of the Waves. The S.U.R.F. Strategy is a simple, quick strategy to adapt and positively respond to whatever waves come your way. This keeps your attitude as an ally working for you rather than an adversary working against you. You cannot control the waves; you can only control your response and develop the skills to adapt to whatever comes your way.

The S.U.R.F. strategy involves four steps:

1. Survey the Situation
When you are tumbled by a wave (adversity), you have to regain your bearing and figure out exactly where you are. Leave emotion behind and survey your situation. What new opportunities might be found or developed? Now is the opportunity to create a new plan. It might be tempting to get caught up in the heat of the moment and feel like you are without options. Take a step back to gain perspective. With an understanding of where you are and what choices you have, you can make the most of the opportunities.

2. Understand Your Options
After you know where you are, begin to assess options for moving forward. Focus only on solutions. After you survey your situation, it's time to make way for positive solutions and options. Ask questions like: "What can I gain?" or "What contacts can I make?" Maintain a positive outlook regardless of the situation - even if you do not immediately see the opportunity. Stay focused on the outcome you want and where you want to go.

Look optimistically for creative ways to use the situation for good - don't lament your misfortune. The opportunity may be hidden. Learn to look for it. This is a creative success habit, and it only comes with practice. Become an opportunity farmer. Look for the hidden benefits behind each change and every situation.

3. Respond Based on Your Goals
Now assess the options in front of you. Some may be better than others. Some may be more complicated or difficult to see. Weigh the pros and cons of each option. You might find your best option right now is to persist in your current situation. You may find yourself riding a wave bigger than you think you can handle. It may be a wild ride, but at least it will be interesting.
Remember, you always have choices. The only thing you can control is your attitude. Regardless of the wave, you have the power to choose. Make sure your response is in line with your goals.

4. Forward Focus in Action and Attitude
You can't surf yesterday's wave. The past is the past. Now it is time to think creatively toward the future. Take positive action. Don't let things happen to you. Create the conditions and outcomes you seek! Now that you are surfing the wave, maintain focus on where you want to go and what you want to do. Maintain a vivid mental image of your successful future finding ways to keep taking action in that direction.

When Bad Surf Happens to Good Surfers
As you surf life's waves, you will see good waves and bad ones. You will have some awesome rides and some gnarly wipe outs. You will meet fellow surfers who want to help you out and those who would rather beat you down. There will be sunny days to enjoy the beach. There will also be storms that take away your enjoyment and opportunity as the sea becomes unstable and unsuitable for your purposes. Injustice, rude people, hardships, difficulties and even some bad things will happen in your life. We cannot control those. The only thing we can control is our attitude and the actions we choose to take in response.

Living is not about playing it safe. Test yourself. Learn the full measure of your surfing ability. Do not hide from the waves. You can learn from both your great rides and your wipe outs. Opportunity does not come to the passive. Be active and create your opportunities. Sometimes opportunities only come through difficult situations. Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it. How you choose to respond to adversity reveals your true character. Your true character is uncovered in the actions of your response and in the choices you make. Your character is revealed in the promises you keep and in the convictions you hold true. Ultimately, your character is a mirror of the guiding principles in your life. What you do and say reveal to the world who you are.

You Cannot Control the Weather
Neither you nor I can control the weather. We cannot control what it will be today and we cannot affect in any way what it will be tomorrow. It is what it is. The same weather will make some people joyous and others miserable. When there is a snow day that shuts down everything, kids rejoice, while parents who need to miss work or scramble for child care do not. Rain is great when the farmers need it for the crops and devastating when the river peaks the levies. Hot sunny days are fantastic for people to enjoy a picnic, yet miserable when you are in the field working.

Weather in itself is neither good nor bad. It is up to us in our decision of how we choose to weather our personal storms and whether they leave us stronger and more resolute or weakened and cowering until the next one. In the same way, adversities are going to come your way, just like the waves of the ocean. All you can really do about them is learn to surf . . . and convert challenges, difficulties and hardships into opportunities.

Frank F. Lunn

Awaken the Leader in You: 10 East Steps to Develop Your Leadership Skills

"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit." - Mark Twain

Many motivational experts like to say that leaders are made, not born. I would argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born leaders, but have been deprogrammed along the way. As children, we were natural leaders - curious and humble, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? What happened?

As children, over time, we got used to hearing, No, Don't, and Can't. No! Don't do this. Don't do that. You can't do this. You can't do that. No! Many of our parents told us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and couldn't do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one institutionalized formal education known as college or university. Unfortunately, the traditional educational system doesn't teach students how to become leaders; it teaches students how to become polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.

Developing the Leader in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of unlearning by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective leader again will require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood dreams lie, going inside to the heart. Based on my over ten years research in the area of human development and leadership, here are ten easy steps you can take to awaken the Leader in you and rekindle your passion for greatness.

1. Humility
Leadership starts with humility. To be a highly successful leader, you must first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to serve others. Nobody wants to follow someone who is arrogant. Be humble as a child, always curious, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing. When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more effective listener, which is the #1 leadership communication tool. When people sense you are genuinely interested in them, and listening to them, they will naturally be interested in you and listen to what you have to say.

2. SWOT Yourself
SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Although it's a strategic management tool taught at Stanford and Harvard Business Schools and used by large multinationals, it can just as effectively be used in your own professional development as a leader. This is a useful key to gain access to self-knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring. Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to achieving your dreams.

3. Follow Your Bliss
Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence. This will make you a charismatic leader. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three hours a day, to pursue these activities. Believe me, you'll find the time. If you were to video tape yourself for a day, you would be shocked to see how much time goes to waste!

4. Dream Big
If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that's larger than life. Small dreams won't serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don't be small and realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Pulitzer, the Nobel, the Oscar, the highest you can possibly achieve in your field. After you ve written down your dream, list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why you can't.

5. Vision
Without a vision, we perish. If you can't see yourself winning that award and feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, it's unlikely you will be able to lead yourself or others to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream. See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

6. Perseverance
Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream.

7. Honor Your Word
Every time you break your word, you lose power. Successful leaders keep their word and their promises. You can accumulate all the toys and riches in the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.

8. Get a Mentor
Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved a high degree of success in your field. Don't be afraid to ask. You've got nothing to lose. Mentors.ca is an excellent mentoring website and a great resource for finding local mentoring programs. They even have a free personal profile you can fill out in order to potentially find you a suitable mentor. In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of great leaders that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of their successful behaviors.

9. Be Yourself
Use your relationships with mentors and your research on great leaders as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot. Everyone has vastly different leadership styles. History books are filled with leaders who are soft-spoken, introverted, and quiet, all the way to the other extreme of being out- spoken, extroverted, and loud, and everything in between. A quiet and simple Gandhi or a soft-spoken peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, who became president of the United States and won a Nobel Peace Prize, have been just as effective world leaders as a loud and flamboyant Churchill, or the tough leadership style employed by The Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher. I admire Hemingway as a writer. But if I copy Hemingway, I'd be a second or third rate Hemingway, at best, instead of a first rate Sharif. Be yourself, your best self, always competing against yourself and bettering yourself, and you will become a first rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

10. Give
Finally, be a giver. Leaders are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law as sound as gravity life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker. The more you give, the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love, give respect, give support, and give compassion. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your community. As a leader, the only way to get what you want, is by helping enough people get what they want first. As Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Sharif Khan

In Sales - Here's News You Can Use

Here's an idea on how to make reading the daily newspaper a source for new selling ideas. Make it a point to identify at least one thing that you can use in your business whenever you read the newspaper. There is always great stuff in the sports and business section of most newspapers. Here are some examples.

Blazing Fast
The words "Blazing Fast" were used in an advertisement. If one of the benefits of your product relates to speed why not kick it up a notch by describing it as "Blazing Fast."

Small Steps Big Impact
In an article that talked about fair trade organizations, the headline was "Small Steps Big Impact." Couldn't that be reworked to say, "When working with new customers we like to take small steps that create a big impact." Then proceed to give you potential customer some examples.

Speedy Adjustments
In yesterday's sports section there was an article with the headline, "Speedy adjustments." If it fits your business you could probably work "Speedy adjustments" into your sales presentation.
Has your company ever dropped the ball? Have you ever experienced delays with new product launches? Have you ever had to deal with products that didn't live up to everybody's expectations? Sure who hasn't.

Rebounds
In today's paper there was a headline "Martha Stewart Living rebounds." When the problem(s) is fixed you might consider using the word "Rebounds" in your sales presentation to your customer base.

Sprouts
If your company is planning to announce new product introductions you might be able to take a lesson from this headline in today's business section. "Apple sprouts 4 NEW iPods."

Sales Inspiration
In today's sports section there was an article about baseball Hall Of Famer, Johnny Bench, who's coming to Sarasota to give a speech. The article mentioned how his father told his son that learning how to catch was the shortest route to the major leagues. He also had his son practice throwing 250 feet, from a crouch position, which was more than twice the distance from home plate to second base.

Johnny Bench would later claim he could throw out any runner alive. If you're in sales you should be able to get a little inspiration from Johnny Bench's practice routine. What could you prepare and practice that would give you that level of self-confidence?

The world is filled with ideas you can use to grow your business but you have to keep your eyes open to avoid missing them.

Yes indeed - there is news you can use, in your business, in your daily newspaper.

Jim Meisenheimer

Managing Monsters in Meetings

Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they drive the participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions.

Approach 1: Speak to the group
Set the stage for the group to enforce its culture by making a general comment. Look at the middle of the group and say:

"Just a moment. Let's pause here to calm down. I can tell we're upset about this. And we want to find a fair solution for everyone." (Take slow deep breaths and relax to model calming down.)

After saying this, pause a moment to let the group respond. Often, someone else will support your request. Then continue as if everything were normal.

Avoid looking at the attacker when speaking to the group. Making eye contact acknowledges and returns power to the attacker.

Approach 2: Explore for the cause
Sometimes people throw insults from behind a fence of presumed safety. You can disrupt this illusion by saying:
"Chris, you seem upset with that."
"Pat, you seem to disagree."
"You seem to have reservations about this."

I realize these statements may sound like naive responses to an insult. However, such understated responses improve the situation because they sound less threatening, feel easier to deliver, and preserve the other person's self-esteem. Realize the attacker may have viewed the attack less seriously than it sounded.

These statements also transfer the focus from the target to the attacker's feelings. And this is what you need to talk about in order to resolve the dispute.

After you speak, continue to look at the attacker and wait for the person to talk about what caused the attack.

If the attack continues, interrupt with:
"Excuse me, we need to respect each other. And I wonder what makes you feel upset over this."
"Excuse me, we heard that. Now, what makes you feel that way?"
"Excuse me, I'm interested in hearing what your concerns are."

Approach 3: Call a break
If verbal approaches fail to end the attacks, then call a break or end the meeting. This will give you a chance to meet privately with the attacker, rewrite the agenda, rebuild communication, and (if appropriate) schedule another meeting without the attacker.

You could say,
"We seem to be at an impasse. I want to take a break so we can all calm down."
"This hostility makes it impossible to get any work done. So, I'm adjourning the meetings. We'll work on this later and then reconvene at another time."

Note that some people use anger to force others to cooperate with them. If you adjourn the meeting, you will have to meet with the attacker to resolve the conflict.
"We need to work on this outside of the meeting. So let's adjourn."

Use these techniques to restore a safe environment to your meeting.

Meetings are a forum for finding solutions, making decisions, and reaching agreements. When you apply these approaches to disruptions, you will maintain the productive environment necessary to accomplish your goals.

Steve Kaye

Are you a Good Manager or a Great Leader?

Your word is your truth - Know that when you speak, you will fulfill your promise to others and others will know they can depend on you. Think before you speak. Under promise and over deliver. Always keep your promise.

Have a 'can do' attitude
Be cheerful and pleasant and cultivate an attitude of turning obstacles into opportunities. See the cup as half full instead of half empty. Do not focus on the problem, Focus on the solution. Think about all the good that can result from projects. Look for the good in others

Remember to say 'thank you'
Kind words go a long way. Acknowledge and appreciate people around you when they've done something of merit. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Do not take others for granted. Let people know how much you appreciate even the small things they do.

Practice the #1 rule of business
Remember to treat people as "they" want to be treated, not as you would like to be treated. This is crucial to being a leader. Everyone likes to be treated differently. Get to know how those around you like to be treated and respect their preferences. Discover the personalities of others and learn how they get encouraged.

Motivate others around you
Develop a strong interest in your staff and others around you. It's easier to motivate with encouragement, support and acknowledgments. Encourage others to go beyond their limits. Treat others as you know they can be, not as they are Ask others who their best boss was and why. Learn from that and motivate them the same way.

Empower and encourage others you know
Offer others public recognition and involve them in important work. Treat people like you know they can do the job. Have confidence in others to know they can get the job done. Express your appreciation when jobs are done to expectations. Encourage others to go beyond their limits and see what they create.

Share your vision and mission
Get staff engaged in an activity to meet goals and share the company's vision and mission. This will get others excited about future directions and will further motivate them to contribute to being a part of the end results. Articulate a clear vision to those around you. Let others know the mission and why you are doing what you do. Encourage others to be a part of your mission by involving them in the end result

Think creatively and don't stop at the obvious
Think about options available to you and envision the possibilities of bigger and better ways to do things. Develop the skill of having multiple options instead of settling for the easiest or fastest answer. Explore different possibilities and ask 'what if' questions. Discover new solutions for the old problems - don't take the easy way. When you think you have the answer, think of something else you can do to make it better.

Risk taking within reason by knowing high-risk and low-risk
Analyze risk. Know when risk taking is an intelligent move and when it shouldn't be considered. Form a team of individuals to run ideas by before taking large risks. Get a consensus from others when taking a risk. Practice 'analyze risk taking' by thinking through the whole process before proceeding. Know the possibilities of the outcome and the good and bad of the end results.

Stretch your creativity and encourage that in others
Continually stretch your creative powers by thinking outside the box. Stretch out into the unknown and discover better ways of doing things. Set this example for others. Stretch your way of thinking and encourage that in others. Keep learning new things and finding better ways of doing what you do. Be a role model in your creative thinking and see the difference it makes in others.

Have a passion for what you do and create a sense of purpose
Display passion for what you do. Ensure your words are congruent with your actions. Then follow the path of your goals. Focus on the end results and the purpose of your actions.
Love what you do and do what you love. Establish a sense of purpose and let your passion show through to others. Project into the future your long-term goal and desires. Share this vision with others

Create an environment of opportunity
Create an environment where you and others around you can grow. Discover infinite opportunities by thinking outside the box. Get creative!

Give others the opportunity to experience new things and different ways of doing things
Encourage continual learning and new skills. Produce a richer environment by working at peak performance at high levels

Good Luck on your journey of becoming a great leader!

Cheryl Vallejos

Creating a Not-To-Do List

When I sit down with a client to work on prioritizing and delegating, the biggest challenge we face is deciding what kinds of activities and responsibilities to give up. Quite often, we get so entrenched in what we think we SHOULD be doing, that we forget to pay attention to what we ENJOY doing. So when it comes time to let go of the boring, tedious, and time-consuming tasks that eat up our day, we have a struggle trying to identify them.

It is incredibly difficult for people to admit that they can't do everything themselves. Well guess what -- you can't! And I don't know that you would want to, even if you had the time. Some activities in life are unpleasant, outside of your range of expertise, or just not what you want to spend your time on. And there is nothing wrong with admitting that you don't want to do something, as long as you can find someone else to do it for you. That is the purpose behind creating a not-to-do list -- helping you identify chores, errands, and daily responsibilities that you can (and should) delegate to another person

GETTING STARTED
The key to creating a successful "not-to-do" list is awareness -- paying attention to what you do, how long it takes, how often you do it, and whether or not you get some benefit from that particular activity. However, we spend so much of our days on autopilot and in a state of overload, that simply trying to recall how you spent yesterday morning can be a real challenge! You will make things much easier if you keep a NOTEPAD nearby, where you can record your daily activities.

This doesn't mean that you have to log every second of your day ("8:00 -- got up" / "8:05 to 8:10 -- used bathroom" / "8:15 to 8:45 -- had breakfast" isn't really going to help you be more effective and efficient!) But if you can start tracking your work activities (could be paid outside work or housework or whatever fills your day), your travel time to and from activities, and any other external responsibilities (committee meetings, carpools, volunteering), you will begin to see places where you can trim and tighten your schedule through delegation.

So as you sit at your desk or work in your house or travel in your car, make a note of what you are doing -- such as "checking e-mails" or "cleaning oven" or "buying groceries." Then, estimate how much time you have spent on that particular chore or errand (don't forget travel and preparation time). We will continue on later with some in-depth questions about whether this action needs to be done at all (!!) and whether it needs to be done by you. But for now, that's the start of your "not-to-do" list.

HOW MUCH IS YOUR TIME IS WORTH?
When you were a kid, you probably had no clue what it took to earn money -- and you had no qualms about spending it freely on anything that caught your eye. But when you got an after-school job or started working for your allowance, you became a lot more discriminating about where you spent your hard-earned cash.

It's the same with time. Very few people in our society really know what their time is worth -- in concrete financial terms. But until you recognize that your time is intrinsically valuable, you will never be able to make informed decisions about where your time is best spent. Here's a general guide you can use in determining how much an hour of your time is worth, and how just one hour a day -- spent poorly or wisely -- adds up over a year's time:

INCOME.........ONE HOUR......IN A YEAR
$25,000.........$12.61.........$3,125
$40,000.........$20.49.........$5,000
$50,000.........$25.61.........$6,250
$75,000.........$38.42.........$9,375
$100,000........$51.23.........$12,500
$125,000........$65.10.........$15,884
$150,000........$76.84.........$18,750
$175,000........$89.65.........$21,875
$200,000........$102.46.........$25,000
$250,000........$128.07.........$31,250
$300,000........$153.69.........$37,500
** Based on 244 working days per year

So, you can always look at delegating in terms of the biggest financial payoff. When I hire someone to take care of an item on my not-to-do list -- and I pay them $25 an hour while my hour is worth $60 -- I'm coming out ahead. The same is true when I can hire someone to do a task in a half hour that would take me 3 to complete. I can be focusing on higher priorities -- things that feed my soul or grow my business or let me know I'm alive -- without worrying that the work isn't being done.

LOOK AT COSTS VERSUS BENEFITS
Have you ever caught yourself spending a lot of time on a very low-payoff activity? Maybe it's something that really does need to be done -- like addressing 1500 envelopes for a routine mass mailing or cleaning all of the window screens in your house -- but it's not something that is going to tremendously improve your quality of life. And it might be a hugely time-consuming activity, where the rewards you will reap don't even begin to compare to your investment of time and energy.

Most of these kinds of low-payoff jobs really serve as maintenance. The completion of these small activities doesn't make a major impact on your life -- but if left undone, they can erode away at your home, your career, your health, your peace of mind and cause serious problems down the road. That makes these chores perfect candidates for your "not-to-do" list -- items that really need to be done, but not necessarily by YOU. Here are some of the most common suggestions I hear from my clients -- see which resonate with you as being potentially delegable:
- house cleaning
- grocery shopping / meal preparation
- paperwork (filing / mailings / organizing)
- errand-running
- yard work / landscaping
- home maintenance / car maintenance
- follow-up with clients (phone calls / e-mails)
- travel / meeting / event arrangements

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
Of course, you have to pay attention to more than just the financial cost of each task you perform yourself. You also have to ask if you really enjoy the work. Even though I could probably find someone else to maintain my website for me, I really enjoy the process of creating new pages, bringing ideas to life, and watching my "baby" blossom and grow. It is time consuming, but I'm filled with a renewed energy each time I sit down to add a new section to my site. So the payoff for me is in the emotional charge I get -- the sense of satisfaction and creativity -- and that is priceless, regardless of what my hour is worth.

On the other hand, my sister loves gardening. She finds it incredibly relaxing to dig in the dirt and watch a tiny bud explode into color in her front yard. Now lawn care is pretty much my idea of hell -- so I would probably hire someone else to take care of my shrubbery and flowers (if I had a yard!) It's all a matter of what energizes you, what fills your life with joy, and what you look forward to doing. If an activity fits this description, keep it for yourself and find other less-pleasurable chores to include on your not-to-do list.

IS THIS THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF YOUR TIME?
The final question I always ask my clients when setting up their lists is, "What is the best possible use of your time at this exact moment?" We usually tend to focus too much on the daily grind -- paying bills, keeping the house clean, writing reports, etc. -- and too little on our real PRIORITIES. Do you really need to be organizing the garage, or spending time with your kids at the park? Is it a higher priority that you decide where to put the coffee pot and how to arrange the chairs at the upcoming sales meeting, or that you develop a strong agenda and provide guidance during the group discussion? Ask yourself where you will get the biggest bang for your buck. That should be where you focus your attention, and let someone else handle the rest.

FINDING AN ALTERNATIVE
Okay, so you've made a list of items that you would love to delegate -- who do you hand them off to? You have so many options!
- Get your family involved in the act -- kids and spouses are just as capable of handling those daily chores as you are!
- Ask a co-worker for some assistance -- and offer to help out the next time he or she needs a little bit of a break
- Make use of your support staff (administrative clerks, assistants, and other assorted minions) -- that's what they are there for
- Hire an independent contractor or freelancer to help with household and business tasks that you don't have time for
- Develop a local co-op for sharing those time-consuming domestic (trading off on cooking, cleaning, errand-running, or child care) -- or set up an informal swap with a neighbor

Just remember, you aren't in it alone. You simply have to decide what you want to delegate and then be willing to ask for help. Good luck!