True Story: Guy walks into a bar, chats up the hottest babe in the joint. He's feeling hip and funny. She's gazing dreamily into his eyes, obviously impressed. When she goes off to the bathroom, a buddy walks up to the guy. ‘Know who that is?’ the buddy asks. ‘She used to date Al Pacino.’ Gulp.
Somehow, when Miss Lovely reappears, our man isn't so fast with the repartee. His confidence is gone; the conversation sputters. She's no longer looking into his eyes. In fact, she seems to be looking for an escape route. He's become another wannabe player shot down by negative self-talk.
We all talk to ourselves. It's the way the mind works. And it's terrific when it makes like your own personal cheerleader. Who doesn't like hearing, Smart move... she liked that. Or, when you start a new job, / have great ideas. Positive self-talk bolsters confidence and boosts energy.
But sometimes our inner cheerleader changes sides. Instead of encouragement, you get zingers like, Pacino! Man, I'm so average. What'll she think when she sees my ancient car? And my pathetic flat - not that we'll get that far. What's a guy to do? There's no off button for your inner motor-mouth, and demoralizing thoughts can pop up anytime. But there are ways to keep your head out of dissing mode.
Bad thoughts are inevitably triggered by events, however minor. The boss looks your way - is he frowning? - and you think, I'm going to lose my job. Or your dinner date's giggle reminds you of that leggy brunette who laughed so cruelly when you brought a bottle of cheap Chardonnay to her classy dinner party. Doofus! Instantly, you're reliving a moment you'd rather forget.
But that's just the beginning. Electrochemical activity in the brain's frontal cortex, where thoughts are born, jump-starts the limbic system, a primitive brain region known as the seat of emotion. Specifically, thoughts that suggest something is wrong rev up the amygdala, an almond-shaped parcel of grey matter that functions like a panic button.
From there, circuits light up in the hypothalamus, which links the mind with the body. You start to sweat. Your pulse quickens. Now you're really nervous. Upstairs, the frontal lobes are generating even more discouraging words. Soon a killer monologue is going on inside your skull, and it's not the kind that knocks 'em dead at the Laugh Factory. It's the voice of doom - hypercritical and looking for anything to feel terrible about.
The mischief that bad thoughts can do is something athletes know better than anyone. ‘Negative self-talk hurts your self-confidence; and when confidence goes down, so does performance,’ says Dr Shane Murphy, the former head of the US Olympic Committee's sports psychology program.
Self-doubt produces muscle tension, which screws up timing and coordination. And by torpedoing your mood, self-doubt makes it difficult to focus. You can't concentrate on getting a maiden over when you're thinking, Last time, this batter hit every ball I bowled for a six.
The same thing can happen in daily life. Thoughts like I have nothing interesting to say become self-fulfilling prophecies. Self-doubt shows in your facial expressions, tone of voice, and even in your posture. You become so focused on how you're coming across that you can't keep up with the conversation. Bye-bye playful banter; hello, strained silence.
At work negative self-talk has a similar effect. If you focus on how difficult a task is - how you won't do a good job - you'll find it tougher to start. You're likely to procrastinate, which will turn the task into a real ordeal.
If you're giving a speech or typing a report, an inner critic that keeps jabbering, This sounds so lame, is all but guaranteed to tie your tongue and freeze your fingers at the keyboard.
Worst of all are the missteps that keep replaying like some sadistic tape loop. Maybe it's the way you blew that great thing you had with Liz. Or that time you sneezed in your boss's coffee.
This is a milder version of the intrusive thoughts that bedevil combat veterans and other trauma victims. Those thoughts come when the mind has no focus or directed attention. True, an office cubicle isn't exactly a battlefield. Nor is a bar or your bedroom, But threats to your self-esteem uncounted in these everyday settings can rev up the amygdala just as effectively as a mortar attack will. So what are you going to do?
Here's your battle plan:
Know the enemy
Zeroing in on your negative mind chatter isn't easy, but with a little practice, you'll be able to pick out the sentence fragments that constitute a sort of lingua franca between ‘you’ and your limbic system - brief phrases like ‘Blew it, as usual’, or names that are freighted with personal meaning: ‘Dad all over again.’ Sometimes it’s just images, like the face of your old friend or the school bully. You will see it coming from far.
Don't ignore them, and respect their power
Don't try to eliminate negative thoughts. The more you fight them, the more they come back. Instead of trying to suppress or eliminate negative thoughts, let them stay as background noise.
Argue with yourself
Identify the put-downs you typically say to yourself, and then jot down a rebuttal for each. Your goal isn't to pump yourself up with false optimism; it's simply to recast unrealistically negative thoughts in a more positive light. The rebuttal to ‘I sound like an idiot’ isn't ‘I'm a smooth a talker as Humphrey Bogart in The Big Sleep’, but rather If I say something dumb, she'll like me anyway.
Put on an act
Imagine yourself in a stressful situation, such as the big presentation you’re going to make next week at the AGM, first with the negative voice-over and then with the good stuff. Run mental rehearsals until it feels natural. Or simply act like everything's copacetic and positive thoughts will follow.
Just putting a smile on your face reinforces the notion that all is well (while telling the other person (‘I'm glad you're here’).
Slap another label on it
Another good way to reverse a downward spiral in your thinking is to give it a positive spin. If you re-label, ‘Uh, oh. I feel nervous’ as ‘I'm psyched’ your brain automatically shifts from take-cover mode into lets-roll mode. That helps re-channel a surfeit of adrenaline into positive action.
Sing some sense into yourself
Discouraging words that keep coming back call for a special strategy. It's easier going towards these thoughts than going away. You can blunt the sting of endless self-reproach by putting it to music (in your mind please, we don't want people thinking you are crazy). ‘I lost the only woman I've love, because I was a jerk’ sounds pretty silly once you sing it like 50 Cent.
Too nutty for you? Studies suggest you can ease negative self-talk simply by rapidly sweeping your eyes from side to side about 25 times. It stimulates both sides of the brain and briefly disrupts your thinking patterns. It makes it hard to hold onto a disturbing thought.
Sandra Prior
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Achieve Your Goals By Eating The Frog And The Elephant
Brian Tracy, the great motivational guru, often suggests that people do their most important and toughest task at the start of the day. They must 'eat the frog' for breakfast and then they will feel great for the rest of the day and have extra energy to cope with all their other tasks.
When it is light enough in the summer, I get a walk and some weight lifting in at the start of the day when it is cooler. I then feel set up for the rest of the day. The walk is quite a tasty frog to eat but still demands some effort and will power.
If you are writing a book, write first thing in the day. Writing may be the most difficult thing you do all day. Get it done straight away. Eat the frog.
After eating the frog, you have to eat the elephant (the huge amount you have to do during the rest of the day) How?
Bit by bit.
How do you build a house? Brick by brick. How do you walk ten miles? Step by step. I love books with titles like "HTML in easy steps"
You can't learn HTML in one big study session but step by step, inch by inch it's a cinch. Step by step you will have time to digest what you have learned.
Self-help books frequently use phrases like 'step by step' with good reason. Taking small steps can work wonders.
If you want to lose weight and are given 5 sausages to eat, give one of them to the dog or throw it in the bin.
People who have done this type of weight loss behaviour have achieved remarkable results. That extra sausage or biscuit gradually built up their weight; not eating it will gradually lose their weight.
Jewish students who wish to be rabbis usually have to study the Talmud, a huge book of many volumes. Their rabbis tell them a story called the 'Heap of Dust' to help them to keep going and not give up.
Two men were asked to move a heap of dust. One soon gave up. The other said I will move a little every day even if it seems that I am getting nowhere. Eventually he moved the heap of dust and was rewarded accordingly. The other man achieved nothing and his reward was nothing.
The principle is the same whether you are eating an elephant or moving a mountain of dust. Tackle the task bit by bit.
If you eat the frog and the elephant, you should have a great day and begin to achieve all your goals.
John Watson
When it is light enough in the summer, I get a walk and some weight lifting in at the start of the day when it is cooler. I then feel set up for the rest of the day. The walk is quite a tasty frog to eat but still demands some effort and will power.
If you are writing a book, write first thing in the day. Writing may be the most difficult thing you do all day. Get it done straight away. Eat the frog.
After eating the frog, you have to eat the elephant (the huge amount you have to do during the rest of the day) How?
Bit by bit.
How do you build a house? Brick by brick. How do you walk ten miles? Step by step. I love books with titles like "HTML in easy steps"
You can't learn HTML in one big study session but step by step, inch by inch it's a cinch. Step by step you will have time to digest what you have learned.
Self-help books frequently use phrases like 'step by step' with good reason. Taking small steps can work wonders.
If you want to lose weight and are given 5 sausages to eat, give one of them to the dog or throw it in the bin.
People who have done this type of weight loss behaviour have achieved remarkable results. That extra sausage or biscuit gradually built up their weight; not eating it will gradually lose their weight.
Jewish students who wish to be rabbis usually have to study the Talmud, a huge book of many volumes. Their rabbis tell them a story called the 'Heap of Dust' to help them to keep going and not give up.
Two men were asked to move a heap of dust. One soon gave up. The other said I will move a little every day even if it seems that I am getting nowhere. Eventually he moved the heap of dust and was rewarded accordingly. The other man achieved nothing and his reward was nothing.
The principle is the same whether you are eating an elephant or moving a mountain of dust. Tackle the task bit by bit.
If you eat the frog and the elephant, you should have a great day and begin to achieve all your goals.
John Watson
Monday, December 29, 2008
Develop Your Own Positive Driven Splinter
"There is no doubt that you will succeed today at making a difference in the world. The question is, what difference will you choose to make? " J. S. Lowery
Article based on the book, The Power of Being Different, by John Paul Carinci. Used with permission.
We've all had a painful splinter sometime in our lives. A splinter that throbbed, it seemed endlessly. Without us paying attention to it, it would hurt, sending pain signals to our brain.
Well, very successful individuals, for thousands of years, have used the laws of nature to reverse the signal system and use it to accomplish great tasks. Most great inventors use a similar principle. Let's study it.
Truly successful people have found that if they pre-program their minds, in particular, the subconscious mind, with certain commands and goals, it gets etched into their subconscious, and that is the real key here. It is important to realize that the subconscious will accept fact or fiction.
Think about the NYC Marathon runner who trains for the entire year before the big race. Think about the fact that the race is over 26 miles long. Let's look at the mindset of this individual. The runner is intensely driven for that whole year, visualizing, all along, that ultimate finish line. The runner doesn't think about failure to finish the race, or blisters, or many other obstacles that will arise during the year. The runner's mindset is: one goal; one vision; one battle; that will ultimately be won. The runner will also announce to everyone, sometimes months in advance, that they will be running the famous marathon. This is important, because once announced, a goal has that much more importance and urgency attached to it.
So once introduced correctly, the subconscious mind accepts this great goal, and works overtime to bring the intense, positive, driven goal, to pass, just like that terrible deeply imbedded splinter. So, what will be your Positive Driven Splinter?
To make this the most successful summer ever - get focused on your goals - turn that "splinter" into a positive force for success in selling!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
Article based on the book, The Power of Being Different, by John Paul Carinci. Used with permission.
We've all had a painful splinter sometime in our lives. A splinter that throbbed, it seemed endlessly. Without us paying attention to it, it would hurt, sending pain signals to our brain.
Well, very successful individuals, for thousands of years, have used the laws of nature to reverse the signal system and use it to accomplish great tasks. Most great inventors use a similar principle. Let's study it.
Truly successful people have found that if they pre-program their minds, in particular, the subconscious mind, with certain commands and goals, it gets etched into their subconscious, and that is the real key here. It is important to realize that the subconscious will accept fact or fiction.
Think about the NYC Marathon runner who trains for the entire year before the big race. Think about the fact that the race is over 26 miles long. Let's look at the mindset of this individual. The runner is intensely driven for that whole year, visualizing, all along, that ultimate finish line. The runner doesn't think about failure to finish the race, or blisters, or many other obstacles that will arise during the year. The runner's mindset is: one goal; one vision; one battle; that will ultimately be won. The runner will also announce to everyone, sometimes months in advance, that they will be running the famous marathon. This is important, because once announced, a goal has that much more importance and urgency attached to it.
So once introduced correctly, the subconscious mind accepts this great goal, and works overtime to bring the intense, positive, driven goal, to pass, just like that terrible deeply imbedded splinter. So, what will be your Positive Driven Splinter?
To make this the most successful summer ever - get focused on your goals - turn that "splinter" into a positive force for success in selling!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
Monday, December 15, 2008
Appreciation & Praise
"To get appreciation, you must show appreciation."
Showing appreciation is a mark of a true professional. Start looking for ways in which you can show genuine appreciation. You have, of course, some natural times when you should always do this:
1. Express appreciation for new business.
This is usually automatic. Be sure your clients know you appreciate doing business with them.
2. Give appreciation to those who assist you.
Try sending a note to a prospect's/client's assistant. Assistants can be most helpful to you in building a relationship.
3. Always express appreciation for an interview.
Even if a prospect doesn't buy, sincerely thanking them for granting you an interview is one of the best ways to make an impression and keep the prospect's mind open to your proposition at a future date.
4. Show appreciation through your manners and actions.
Let the buyer know where you can be reached whenever you are needed. Return telephone calls promptly.
5. Give thanks for referrals.
Always express appreciation to those customers who refer business to you. Report back to them on your results.
6. Send prospects to your customers.
If your customers are also in business, send them prospects or supply them with leads.
7. When the subject of one of your competitors comes up, there is only one way to handle it: PRAISE YOUR COMPETITOR.
This requires knowing your competition well enough to be able to praise them. Being knowledgeable about your competitors allows you to praise them. This doesn't necessarily get you a sale. However, your prospect will be more likely to accept information about your company as accurate. Never criticize your competition.
Carry this Pocket Reminder with you. Read it several times a day. Memorize it. We believe you'll beat last year's performance!
REMINDER:
Appreciation and Praise Opportunities to show appreciation:
• New Business.
• Assistants and others who help me.
• Interviews.
• Return phone calls promptly.
• Referrals/report back.
• Send prospects/clients business or leads.
Know my competitors well enough to praise them.
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
Showing appreciation is a mark of a true professional. Start looking for ways in which you can show genuine appreciation. You have, of course, some natural times when you should always do this:
1. Express appreciation for new business.
This is usually automatic. Be sure your clients know you appreciate doing business with them.
2. Give appreciation to those who assist you.
Try sending a note to a prospect's/client's assistant. Assistants can be most helpful to you in building a relationship.
3. Always express appreciation for an interview.
Even if a prospect doesn't buy, sincerely thanking them for granting you an interview is one of the best ways to make an impression and keep the prospect's mind open to your proposition at a future date.
4. Show appreciation through your manners and actions.
Let the buyer know where you can be reached whenever you are needed. Return telephone calls promptly.
5. Give thanks for referrals.
Always express appreciation to those customers who refer business to you. Report back to them on your results.
6. Send prospects to your customers.
If your customers are also in business, send them prospects or supply them with leads.
7. When the subject of one of your competitors comes up, there is only one way to handle it: PRAISE YOUR COMPETITOR.
This requires knowing your competition well enough to be able to praise them. Being knowledgeable about your competitors allows you to praise them. This doesn't necessarily get you a sale. However, your prospect will be more likely to accept information about your company as accurate. Never criticize your competition.
Carry this Pocket Reminder with you. Read it several times a day. Memorize it. We believe you'll beat last year's performance!
REMINDER:
Appreciation and Praise Opportunities to show appreciation:
• New Business.
• Assistants and others who help me.
• Interviews.
• Return phone calls promptly.
• Referrals/report back.
• Send prospects/clients business or leads.
Know my competitors well enough to praise them.
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Knowledge of My Business
"Anyone who stops learning is old - whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young"
To have confidence in yourself, and win and hold the confidence of others, an essential rule is: Know your business . . . and keep on knowing your business!
Periodically you must step back and look at yourself.
• Are you satisfied with the human being you're becoming?
• How are you doing in your business?
• Are you moving forward?
• Are you getting better?
• Are your sales increasing?
• Are you using your time effectively?
It's for these reasons you need a personal Research and Development Department. You must have a library of sales support material you can use and refer to in order to make yourself a better sales rep, to keep you current on your products and sharp on new selling techniques.
Read, attend educational seminars, take advantage of home office resources, participate in company and industry conferences.
Good sales reps are those who have confidence in themselves and their abilities. Great sales reps are those whose clients have confidence in them and their abilities.Professionals know they are good, and they know why they are good. Consistently, they work at becoming better.
All of us are aware of tragic school dropouts. But salespeople "drop out" too! It's unfortunate but true that for many, there comes a time when they literally "drop out." They stop learning. They stop growing. They stop getting better. It's at this precise point they compromise what they will become as sales reps and as human beings. They expect their companies to grow and get better.
But all too often, sales reps make the assumption that they are good enough to meet the challenge and change of the future without improving themselves. Remind yourself to keep growing.
Keep learning and studying. Keep records to monitor and measure your performance. Maintain a personal Research and Development Department that keeps you up-to-date - one that keeps your sales success "above the crowd" that is not interested in gaining more knowledge and becoming better.
Carry this Reminder with you. Read it several times a day. Memorize it. We believe you'll beat last year's performance!
REMINDER: Know My Business
• Great sales reps are those whose clients have confidence in them and their abilities.
• Keep growing.
• Keep learning and studying.
• Keep records of my performance.
• Know my business -- keep knowing my business.
• Keep getting better and better.
Knowing my business is an investment of time and money that will result in the confidence of my prospects and clients.
To have confidence in yourself, and win and hold the confidence of others, an essential rule is: Know your business . . . and keep on knowing your business!
Periodically you must step back and look at yourself.
• Are you satisfied with the human being you're becoming?
• How are you doing in your business?
• Are you moving forward?
• Are you getting better?
• Are your sales increasing?
• Are you using your time effectively?
It's for these reasons you need a personal Research and Development Department. You must have a library of sales support material you can use and refer to in order to make yourself a better sales rep, to keep you current on your products and sharp on new selling techniques.
Read, attend educational seminars, take advantage of home office resources, participate in company and industry conferences.
Good sales reps are those who have confidence in themselves and their abilities. Great sales reps are those whose clients have confidence in them and their abilities.Professionals know they are good, and they know why they are good. Consistently, they work at becoming better.
All of us are aware of tragic school dropouts. But salespeople "drop out" too! It's unfortunate but true that for many, there comes a time when they literally "drop out." They stop learning. They stop growing. They stop getting better. It's at this precise point they compromise what they will become as sales reps and as human beings. They expect their companies to grow and get better.
But all too often, sales reps make the assumption that they are good enough to meet the challenge and change of the future without improving themselves. Remind yourself to keep growing.
Keep learning and studying. Keep records to monitor and measure your performance. Maintain a personal Research and Development Department that keeps you up-to-date - one that keeps your sales success "above the crowd" that is not interested in gaining more knowledge and becoming better.
Carry this Reminder with you. Read it several times a day. Memorize it. We believe you'll beat last year's performance!
REMINDER: Know My Business
• Great sales reps are those whose clients have confidence in them and their abilities.
• Keep growing.
• Keep learning and studying.
• Keep records of my performance.
• Know my business -- keep knowing my business.
• Keep getting better and better.
Knowing my business is an investment of time and money that will result in the confidence of my prospects and clients.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Watch Your Self Talk
Self-talk shapes your selling life. Have you seen the breathtaking pillars in Mammoth Cave in Kentucky? Those enormous "icicles of stone" have taken centuries to form. A single drop of water finds its way through the roof of the cavern to deposit its tiny sediment on the floor of the cave. Another drop follows, and still another, until a marble-like finger begins to grow upward. The result is a tremendously solid pillar.
Self-talk shapes your life in much the same way. What you are is the result of the many accumulated statements you have made and continue to make with your self-talk.What have you told yourself today? What conversation has gone on in your head or been spoken aloud?
Take charge of your thoughts. They are yours to control. Monitor what you are telling yourself about your potential in selling. Suppose you check your self-talk and discover you are telling yourself you have trouble closing sales.
The first question to ask is: "Is that really true?"
Suppose the answer is "Yes, sometimes it is true."
The next question is: "What percent of the time is it true - 100% - 60%?"
Let's say it's true 60% of the time. You have trouble closing sales 60% of the time.
Great! This means it's not true 40% of the time.
Change your self-talk. You can now confidently say, "I'm effective closing sales 40% of the time."
What a difference! You're now building a mental image of one who can do it right. And the 40% will soon become 50% and 60% and . . .Self-talk makes a difference!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI group
Self-talk shapes your life in much the same way. What you are is the result of the many accumulated statements you have made and continue to make with your self-talk.What have you told yourself today? What conversation has gone on in your head or been spoken aloud?
Take charge of your thoughts. They are yours to control. Monitor what you are telling yourself about your potential in selling. Suppose you check your self-talk and discover you are telling yourself you have trouble closing sales.
The first question to ask is: "Is that really true?"
Suppose the answer is "Yes, sometimes it is true."
The next question is: "What percent of the time is it true - 100% - 60%?"
Let's say it's true 60% of the time. You have trouble closing sales 60% of the time.
Great! This means it's not true 40% of the time.
Change your self-talk. You can now confidently say, "I'm effective closing sales 40% of the time."
What a difference! You're now building a mental image of one who can do it right. And the 40% will soon become 50% and 60% and . . .Self-talk makes a difference!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI group
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Enthusiatically Develop Your Slight Edge
Frank Bettger turned his selling career around by applying two principles:1. Enthusiasm - "Enthusiasm is the greatest method of persuasion without pressure. Enthusiasm is the yeast that raises the dough. Enthusiasm is the greatest one-word slogan for living ever devised."2. The Slight Edge - This principle has to do with what making a slight improvement in one skill can do to one's performance over a period of time.
After hearing his boss, Mr. Walter Talbot, say that this business boils down to seeing the people - enthusiastically telling your story to four or five people every day, Frank Bettger immediately applied the principles of enthusiasm and the slight edge. He literally turned his career around.
He applied the principle of enthusiasm by giving himself a pep talk. "You've got two good legs. You can do it. You can tell your story to four or five people every day. You will make good. Why? Mr. Talbot said so." Bettger said, "What a great relief came over me. Now I knew I was going to make good in selling."
Bettger then applied The Slight Edge Principle by devoting extra time to enthusiastically telling his story to four or five people every day. The rest is history. Frank Bettger went on to become one of the greatest insurance salesmen of all time.
Here's the Slight Edge Creed:
• Put enthusiasm to work for you
• Show that you care - by attitude, word and action
• Treat the customer as you would like to be treated
• Respect prospects' intelligence; never overestimate prospects' information
• Do today's jobs today - never put off until tomorrow
• Make right first impressions
• Seek an answer to every question; never leave the customer in doubt
• Deliver more than customers expect
• Do what it takes to assure the customers' satisfaction.
• Follow-up to make sure the job is well done, and done right.
Enthusiastically develop your slight edge!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
After hearing his boss, Mr. Walter Talbot, say that this business boils down to seeing the people - enthusiastically telling your story to four or five people every day, Frank Bettger immediately applied the principles of enthusiasm and the slight edge. He literally turned his career around.
He applied the principle of enthusiasm by giving himself a pep talk. "You've got two good legs. You can do it. You can tell your story to four or five people every day. You will make good. Why? Mr. Talbot said so." Bettger said, "What a great relief came over me. Now I knew I was going to make good in selling."
Bettger then applied The Slight Edge Principle by devoting extra time to enthusiastically telling his story to four or five people every day. The rest is history. Frank Bettger went on to become one of the greatest insurance salesmen of all time.
Here's the Slight Edge Creed:
• Put enthusiasm to work for you
• Show that you care - by attitude, word and action
• Treat the customer as you would like to be treated
• Respect prospects' intelligence; never overestimate prospects' information
• Do today's jobs today - never put off until tomorrow
• Make right first impressions
• Seek an answer to every question; never leave the customer in doubt
• Deliver more than customers expect
• Do what it takes to assure the customers' satisfaction.
• Follow-up to make sure the job is well done, and done right.
Enthusiastically develop your slight edge!
Jack and Garry Kinder
The KBI Group
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)