Succeed By Trying To Fly Like Rambo

Many people never find out what they can achieve until life has passed them by and with it the chance to discover what they are capable of. In Rambo III, the hero hijacks a Soviet attack helicopter in Afghanistan during the Afghan-Soviet war. His friend, the Colonel, asks: "Can you fly that thing?"

Rambo's reply is memorable: "Let's find out!" He wastes no time climbing aboard and 'finding out'. Of course, he can not only fly it, he can also fire rockets from it. He soon makes full use of both abilities! The experienced Soviet pilots are no match for him.

Notice that he does not confidently say: "I can fly that helicopter!" Instead his attitude is surprisingly less macho. The words "Let's find out!" imply that he will "try" and see if he can fly the helicopter. Some self help gurus argue that only wimps use words like "try".

I disagree. Wimps don't try even when there is a possibility of success. They give up before they even start or at the first hurdle. Strong people try without boasting that they will succeed. Reality demands that they walk before they can run or fly! They try and keep trying. Then, as they succeed step by step, their confidence can grow to the point where they believe strongly that they can and will achieve victory.

Reality teaches again and again that the most confident and the most experienced don't always succeed. Even the great Muhammad Ali and Iron Mike Tyson were eventually defeated.

Unlike Muhammad Ali, the fictional Rambo never boasts about what a great fighter he is. The Colonel does that for him. When a Mujahadeen fighter doubts Rambo's abilities in battle, Rambo makes no comment. He lets his actions win respect as he rescues the Colonel.

Sports teams and their fans often boast that they will win before a game although, to be fair, they are frequently joking. Time and again, their boasts are proved wrong. However, if the team tries hard, their fans will usually forgive them. They will not forgive a lack of ambition or effort. They will not forgive a team that fails to try.

Sometimes, teams that try hard against teams that are supposed to be far superior to them find that they are doing better than they thought they would. Their confidence rockets and they end up victorious.

In one of the first matches of the 2008 Six Nations Rugby Union Championship, Wales played England at Twickenham, the home of English rugby. Wales had seldom beaten England on their home ground and had exited the 2007 World Cup early. England, on the other hand had reached the final.

No one was surprised that England was leading at half time. But in the second half, Wales started to try harder and, as their point score went up, the Welsh team grew in confidence until they were playing like men possessed. Wales won and have gone on to beat every other team they have played so far in the championship. They achieved all this simply because they began to try and to try hard.

Recently, in what some call the greatest club soccer competition in the world, the FA cup, teams from the lower English and Welsh leagues have beaten the top teams like Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal. These shock results took place in early March 2008.

They succeeded because they tried very hard. They could easily have rolled over and made the reasonable excuse that the top teams have huge financial resources which allow them to buy up the best players in the world.

Beverly Sills highlights the importance of trying: "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."

If you don't try, you won't fail but you won't achieve much. Even if you fail, you will learn lessons and your skills and knowledge will grow. No one enjoys failing but it may be the quickest road to eventual success.

Sometimes we don't try or we try in a half hearted manner because we have been convinced in childhood or later that we are useless at something. We need to clear our minds of such thoughts and find out the truth for ourselves.

We also need to believe in ourselves enough to try. If we lack enough belief to even try, we can test out methods like affirmations and visualizations to see if they will help us to develop the necessary belief. Google 'affirmations' and 'visualizations' and you will find many websites that can help you learn how to make affirmations and how to visualize.

One site, for example, suggests a variety of ways to affirm effectively. You can affirm while you are walking or exercising. You could for example say: "I am strong and healthy" or "I am improving daily." Repeat this affirmation as you walk or train.

When I was at school in the Isle of Man, I soon discovered that cross country running was not my strong point. However, I improved by repeating one word "Faster" as I ran or, rather, struggled along! I never achieved "fast" but I did achieve "less slow!"

I suggest to my martial arts students that they say to themselves phrases like: "I am becoming faster and stronger." They can say these at training sessions and at gradings when they need to replace nervousness with confidence.

A typical NLP technique suggests that when you say or think something negative like "I am no good at making money," listen in your mind to the phrase diminishing in volume until it disappears. You can then replace that phrase with a positive one like "I am getting good at making money". Let this phrase become louder and louder in your mind until it dominates your thinking.

Another method uses writing. Write down what you want in your life about fifteen times a day. You could write "I am healthy, wealthy and wise." Writing things down is an effective way of releasing the power of your subconscious mind.

The website I visited suggested several affirmations like: "I radiate good health" or "I have all the energy I need to accomplish my goals and to fulfil my desires" or "I am healthy and full of energy and vitality."

Visualization also helps. I tell my students to imagine receiving their blackbelt. If you want to receive money rather than a blackbelt imagine a huge cheque being presented to you instead. Alternatively, you could visual pound notes and/or dollar bills raining down on you from the sky. You will, of course, need to visualize for some time and to take appropriate action daily before these images become true. Do not imagine coins raining down from the sky for obvious reasons.

You could imagine things you don't want like that broken down car spinning away from you and then visualize a smart and powerful car spinning towards you. Imagine it stopping before it knocks you down!

Imagine yourself performing that skill which you are trying to master. See yourself doing the necessary movements with ease. If you are learning how to dance like a Zulu (one of my secret ambitions), imagine yourself stamping on the ground and waving your arms about like one of the best!

Like Rambo, we should climb into that helicopter and try to master the controls. We could find that we, too, can fly and destroy the obstacles that hold us back from success.

John Watson

Discovering Hidden Positives Behind The Negatives

This is a good exercise to use when you want to discover what is really going on behind the scenes of your negative experiences. There is something positive beyond them - you just need to discover what it is.

You see, your higher self sees beyond time and current circumstances. It knows your “true intentions“, even if you are unaware of them consciously, and it will do everything in its power to match you vibrationally to that thing you are “truly” wanting. For instance, if your higher intention is safety and security and something comes up that will jeopardize that safety and security (even if you are unaware that it will jeopardize it at the time) it is not at all surprising that obstacles will suddenly appear to prevent you from making a mistake. Quite often we can misinterpret this obstacles as negative things happening to us or it is just us “not getting what we want when we want it” but there is a little more to it than that.

The point is, quite often we don’t realize when we are right in the thick of what we perceive to be a negative situation, that there is something for our greater good beyond it. We get so focused on cursing the darkness in the tunnel that we forget to look for the light at the end of it. So here is the exercise for you. It comes in two parts with a bonus at the end if you really want to get into it.

Part One
Think back and write down all the times when what you thought was a negative situation turned into a positive one. For instance:

When you had to cancel vacation plans due to work or lack of money and found out later they had a hurricane that week.
When you missed your flight due to bad weather and then found out the plane you were supposed to be on got stuck on the tarmac for 7 hours and you were at least in a comfortable airport with a bar and a bathroom!
When you didn’t get a job you thought you wanted and ended up being available for a better one. When the person you wanted to call you never did, and you ended up meeting the “one” because you were single.
When you missed making the perfect investment, only to find out the company tanked and you would have lost a ton of money.

You get the idea. These things happen all the time. Writing them down helps reaffirm to you that Universe (or your higher self, if you prefer) does in fact have your best interests at heart. If you have a hard time coming up with anything, think about every good thing in your life right now and backtrack. Believe me, you will start to see many ways these things couldn’t have come to you if you had indeed gotten what you originally asked for.

Part Two
Start looking for the light at the end of your tunnel by asking What If? What If The Reason I Haven’t Gotten What I Want Yet Is Because….? Start stretching your mind with ideas of what your higher self might have in store for you that you just haven’t realized yet. For example:

What if (I didn’t get this position) because a better one is waiting for me.
What if (the reason the deal on buying the house fell through) was because the roof is about to collapse this winter and it would have cost me a fortune I wouldn’t have.
What if (the reason he/she hasn’t called me for another date) was because they are total psychos and my higher self knows better than for me to get involved with them.
What if (the reason the car broke down today when I had somewhere really important to be) was because I would have been involved in a major accident if I had been on the highway today. What if (the reason I can’t afford the ski trip right now) is because I would have broken my leg on the slopes.
What if (the reason I am stuck on the absolutely slowest line in the store) is because if I left earlier I would run into someone I really don’t want to see right now.

Really stretch your imagination. The fun part of this exercise is that it can help soothe you through disappointment. But the most important part happens later when you prove yourself to be right and you indeed confirm that your higher self has your best interests at heart. That’s when you begin to trust that everything is happening in exactly the right order. Now for the Bonus Part if you really want to get into it.

Part Three
Try to find your true “hidden intention” as opposed to what you think that you want. For instance, with my Jersey house. I originally thought my intention was to have this beautifully built house in New Jersey. But in truth my “hidden intention” was just to live in a beautiful house I could afford. This was obvious by how I wrote my intention on my list. After struggling financially in our first house, security was really all I was looking for and just hadn’t realized it. It wasn’t until after I received it that I noticed the blessing it really was.

Maybe in your case, your “hidden intention” was to find someone who really cared about you and was interested in the same things you are. You might have originally thought you were going to find this with a person of the opposite sex but instead you found it in the new best friend you made six months ago and you just haven‘t realized it yet. So start enjoying and appreciating that friend that Universe sent you in answer to your request and watch how that higher vibration will automatically attract the opposite sex person you are also wanting. Heck! It might even be through that friend.

We are happily such complicated creatures. So much lies below the surface we aren‘t even aware of. But the daily discovery of these things is what makes life so fun and interesting. Just the fact that you are reading these types of articles means you are already on your way to discovery.

So start looking for the positives that await you in your future. If something you are going through appears negative at the moment, it simply means you haven’t yet discovered the place your higher self is leading you to. Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up and don’t curse the darkness. Start taking the first steps now to finding the light at the end of your tunnel. Happy Creating!

Janeen Clark

I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?

We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process.

The journey challenges individuals to:

1. Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.

You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.

2. Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.

You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you.

You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.

3. Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.

You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one?

If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2009, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you could benefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.

4. Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:

The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.

A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.

Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8-year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.

Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.

Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.

Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier.

Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:

B– stands for belittling self-talk.
Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?

A – stands for awfulizing.
Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision: A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?

D – stands for deceiving.
This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?

S – stands for shoulding.
This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?

5. Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be.

In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”

Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.

Michele Wahlder

When Life Gives You Waves, Learn to S.U.R.F

Would you like to learn a skill set and technique so powerful that you could learn to recycle every failure, disappointment, setback and discouraging situation into a steppingstone for your success? Would you like to go into every situation with confidence knowing you will have the skills to convert it into an experience with a positive benefit?

Imagine skilled and highly trained fighters going into a difficult and scary situation. They don't go looking for it, but when it comes, they are ready and prepared. They realize it will probably be very painful and even scary, but with their training and developed skill set, their odds are favorable.

You have an opportunity to use the same approach to adversities and difficulties entering our lives. We don't go looking for adversity; it finds us. We can't necessarily avoid pain or suffering, but if we use our training, we have a better chance for survival and eventually find some benefit or lesson we can take and claim a victory.

Change, difficulties and adversity will happen. Your only point of control is the surfing skill set you develop to adapt and make the best out of whatever comes your way. It is not really what happens to you that matters as much as your response to what happens. Your response determines your outcome. Think of change and adversity as waves of the ocean, then consider your response to those waves. Success is not necessarily in your talents and abilities, but in the choices you make in application to the waves. You can't change or fight the wave. Your only real choice is to adapt to it.

Apply the S.U.R.F. Strategy? to Make the Best of the Waves. The S.U.R.F. Strategy is a simple, quick strategy to adapt and positively respond to whatever waves come your way. This keeps your attitude as an ally working for you rather than an adversary working against you. You cannot control the waves; you can only control your response and develop the skills to adapt to whatever comes your way.

The S.U.R.F. strategy involves four steps:

1. Survey the Situation
When you are tumbled by a wave (adversity), you have to regain your bearing and figure out exactly where you are. Leave emotion behind and survey your situation. What new opportunities might be found or developed? Now is the opportunity to create a new plan. It might be tempting to get caught up in the heat of the moment and feel like you are without options. Take a step back to gain perspective. With an understanding of where you are and what choices you have, you can make the most of the opportunities.

2. Understand Your Options
After you know where you are, begin to assess options for moving forward. Focus only on solutions. After you survey your situation, it's time to make way for positive solutions and options. Ask questions like: "What can I gain?" or "What contacts can I make?" Maintain a positive outlook regardless of the situation - even if you do not immediately see the opportunity. Stay focused on the outcome you want and where you want to go.

Look optimistically for creative ways to use the situation for good - don't lament your misfortune. The opportunity may be hidden. Learn to look for it. This is a creative success habit, and it only comes with practice. Become an opportunity farmer. Look for the hidden benefits behind each change and every situation.

3. Respond Based on Your Goals
Now assess the options in front of you. Some may be better than others. Some may be more complicated or difficult to see. Weigh the pros and cons of each option. You might find your best option right now is to persist in your current situation. You may find yourself riding a wave bigger than you think you can handle. It may be a wild ride, but at least it will be interesting.
Remember, you always have choices. The only thing you can control is your attitude. Regardless of the wave, you have the power to choose. Make sure your response is in line with your goals.

4. Forward Focus in Action and Attitude
You can't surf yesterday's wave. The past is the past. Now it is time to think creatively toward the future. Take positive action. Don't let things happen to you. Create the conditions and outcomes you seek! Now that you are surfing the wave, maintain focus on where you want to go and what you want to do. Maintain a vivid mental image of your successful future finding ways to keep taking action in that direction.

When Bad Surf Happens to Good Surfers
As you surf life's waves, you will see good waves and bad ones. You will have some awesome rides and some gnarly wipe outs. You will meet fellow surfers who want to help you out and those who would rather beat you down. There will be sunny days to enjoy the beach. There will also be storms that take away your enjoyment and opportunity as the sea becomes unstable and unsuitable for your purposes. Injustice, rude people, hardships, difficulties and even some bad things will happen in your life. We cannot control those. The only thing we can control is our attitude and the actions we choose to take in response.

Living is not about playing it safe. Test yourself. Learn the full measure of your surfing ability. Do not hide from the waves. You can learn from both your great rides and your wipe outs. Opportunity does not come to the passive. Be active and create your opportunities. Sometimes opportunities only come through difficult situations. Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it. How you choose to respond to adversity reveals your true character. Your true character is uncovered in the actions of your response and in the choices you make. Your character is revealed in the promises you keep and in the convictions you hold true. Ultimately, your character is a mirror of the guiding principles in your life. What you do and say reveal to the world who you are.

You Cannot Control the Weather
Neither you nor I can control the weather. We cannot control what it will be today and we cannot affect in any way what it will be tomorrow. It is what it is. The same weather will make some people joyous and others miserable. When there is a snow day that shuts down everything, kids rejoice, while parents who need to miss work or scramble for child care do not. Rain is great when the farmers need it for the crops and devastating when the river peaks the levies. Hot sunny days are fantastic for people to enjoy a picnic, yet miserable when you are in the field working.

Weather in itself is neither good nor bad. It is up to us in our decision of how we choose to weather our personal storms and whether they leave us stronger and more resolute or weakened and cowering until the next one. In the same way, adversities are going to come your way, just like the waves of the ocean. All you can really do about them is learn to surf . . . and convert challenges, difficulties and hardships into opportunities.

Frank F. Lunn

Awaken the Leader in You: 10 East Steps to Develop Your Leadership Skills

"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit." - Mark Twain

Many motivational experts like to say that leaders are made, not born. I would argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born leaders, but have been deprogrammed along the way. As children, we were natural leaders - curious and humble, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? What happened?

As children, over time, we got used to hearing, No, Don't, and Can't. No! Don't do this. Don't do that. You can't do this. You can't do that. No! Many of our parents told us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and couldn't do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one institutionalized formal education known as college or university. Unfortunately, the traditional educational system doesn't teach students how to become leaders; it teaches students how to become polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.

Developing the Leader in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of unlearning by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective leader again will require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood dreams lie, going inside to the heart. Based on my over ten years research in the area of human development and leadership, here are ten easy steps you can take to awaken the Leader in you and rekindle your passion for greatness.

1. Humility
Leadership starts with humility. To be a highly successful leader, you must first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to serve others. Nobody wants to follow someone who is arrogant. Be humble as a child, always curious, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing. When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more effective listener, which is the #1 leadership communication tool. When people sense you are genuinely interested in them, and listening to them, they will naturally be interested in you and listen to what you have to say.

2. SWOT Yourself
SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Although it's a strategic management tool taught at Stanford and Harvard Business Schools and used by large multinationals, it can just as effectively be used in your own professional development as a leader. This is a useful key to gain access to self-knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring. Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to achieving your dreams.

3. Follow Your Bliss
Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence. This will make you a charismatic leader. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three hours a day, to pursue these activities. Believe me, you'll find the time. If you were to video tape yourself for a day, you would be shocked to see how much time goes to waste!

4. Dream Big
If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that's larger than life. Small dreams won't serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don't be small and realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Pulitzer, the Nobel, the Oscar, the highest you can possibly achieve in your field. After you ve written down your dream, list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why you can't.

5. Vision
Without a vision, we perish. If you can't see yourself winning that award and feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, it's unlikely you will be able to lead yourself or others to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream. See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

6. Perseverance
Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream.

7. Honor Your Word
Every time you break your word, you lose power. Successful leaders keep their word and their promises. You can accumulate all the toys and riches in the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.

8. Get a Mentor
Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved a high degree of success in your field. Don't be afraid to ask. You've got nothing to lose. Mentors.ca is an excellent mentoring website and a great resource for finding local mentoring programs. They even have a free personal profile you can fill out in order to potentially find you a suitable mentor. In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of great leaders that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of their successful behaviors.

9. Be Yourself
Use your relationships with mentors and your research on great leaders as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot. Everyone has vastly different leadership styles. History books are filled with leaders who are soft-spoken, introverted, and quiet, all the way to the other extreme of being out- spoken, extroverted, and loud, and everything in between. A quiet and simple Gandhi or a soft-spoken peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, who became president of the United States and won a Nobel Peace Prize, have been just as effective world leaders as a loud and flamboyant Churchill, or the tough leadership style employed by The Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher. I admire Hemingway as a writer. But if I copy Hemingway, I'd be a second or third rate Hemingway, at best, instead of a first rate Sharif. Be yourself, your best self, always competing against yourself and bettering yourself, and you will become a first rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

10. Give
Finally, be a giver. Leaders are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law as sound as gravity life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker. The more you give, the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love, give respect, give support, and give compassion. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your community. As a leader, the only way to get what you want, is by helping enough people get what they want first. As Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Sharif Khan

In Sales - Here's News You Can Use

Here's an idea on how to make reading the daily newspaper a source for new selling ideas. Make it a point to identify at least one thing that you can use in your business whenever you read the newspaper. There is always great stuff in the sports and business section of most newspapers. Here are some examples.

Blazing Fast
The words "Blazing Fast" were used in an advertisement. If one of the benefits of your product relates to speed why not kick it up a notch by describing it as "Blazing Fast."

Small Steps Big Impact
In an article that talked about fair trade organizations, the headline was "Small Steps Big Impact." Couldn't that be reworked to say, "When working with new customers we like to take small steps that create a big impact." Then proceed to give you potential customer some examples.

Speedy Adjustments
In yesterday's sports section there was an article with the headline, "Speedy adjustments." If it fits your business you could probably work "Speedy adjustments" into your sales presentation.
Has your company ever dropped the ball? Have you ever experienced delays with new product launches? Have you ever had to deal with products that didn't live up to everybody's expectations? Sure who hasn't.

Rebounds
In today's paper there was a headline "Martha Stewart Living rebounds." When the problem(s) is fixed you might consider using the word "Rebounds" in your sales presentation to your customer base.

Sprouts
If your company is planning to announce new product introductions you might be able to take a lesson from this headline in today's business section. "Apple sprouts 4 NEW iPods."

Sales Inspiration
In today's sports section there was an article about baseball Hall Of Famer, Johnny Bench, who's coming to Sarasota to give a speech. The article mentioned how his father told his son that learning how to catch was the shortest route to the major leagues. He also had his son practice throwing 250 feet, from a crouch position, which was more than twice the distance from home plate to second base.

Johnny Bench would later claim he could throw out any runner alive. If you're in sales you should be able to get a little inspiration from Johnny Bench's practice routine. What could you prepare and practice that would give you that level of self-confidence?

The world is filled with ideas you can use to grow your business but you have to keep your eyes open to avoid missing them.

Yes indeed - there is news you can use, in your business, in your daily newspaper.

Jim Meisenheimer

Managing Monsters in Meetings

Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they drive the participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions.

Approach 1: Speak to the group
Set the stage for the group to enforce its culture by making a general comment. Look at the middle of the group and say:

"Just a moment. Let's pause here to calm down. I can tell we're upset about this. And we want to find a fair solution for everyone." (Take slow deep breaths and relax to model calming down.)

After saying this, pause a moment to let the group respond. Often, someone else will support your request. Then continue as if everything were normal.

Avoid looking at the attacker when speaking to the group. Making eye contact acknowledges and returns power to the attacker.

Approach 2: Explore for the cause
Sometimes people throw insults from behind a fence of presumed safety. You can disrupt this illusion by saying:
"Chris, you seem upset with that."
"Pat, you seem to disagree."
"You seem to have reservations about this."

I realize these statements may sound like naive responses to an insult. However, such understated responses improve the situation because they sound less threatening, feel easier to deliver, and preserve the other person's self-esteem. Realize the attacker may have viewed the attack less seriously than it sounded.

These statements also transfer the focus from the target to the attacker's feelings. And this is what you need to talk about in order to resolve the dispute.

After you speak, continue to look at the attacker and wait for the person to talk about what caused the attack.

If the attack continues, interrupt with:
"Excuse me, we need to respect each other. And I wonder what makes you feel upset over this."
"Excuse me, we heard that. Now, what makes you feel that way?"
"Excuse me, I'm interested in hearing what your concerns are."

Approach 3: Call a break
If verbal approaches fail to end the attacks, then call a break or end the meeting. This will give you a chance to meet privately with the attacker, rewrite the agenda, rebuild communication, and (if appropriate) schedule another meeting without the attacker.

You could say,
"We seem to be at an impasse. I want to take a break so we can all calm down."
"This hostility makes it impossible to get any work done. So, I'm adjourning the meetings. We'll work on this later and then reconvene at another time."

Note that some people use anger to force others to cooperate with them. If you adjourn the meeting, you will have to meet with the attacker to resolve the conflict.
"We need to work on this outside of the meeting. So let's adjourn."

Use these techniques to restore a safe environment to your meeting.

Meetings are a forum for finding solutions, making decisions, and reaching agreements. When you apply these approaches to disruptions, you will maintain the productive environment necessary to accomplish your goals.

Steve Kaye